The Seven Stages of Shopping at Target with Kids

1. Denial

I’ve got to run to Target. Sure, I have a child in tow, but we can handle this. This trip will not end in chaos like the last few. We’re getting toilet paper and milk, and that’s all. No tears from either of us. This time, it’s going to be different.

2. Anger

Why does this keep happening? Why did I have kids who can’t seem to manage a simple shopping trip without a complete meltdown? This is ridiculous. I’m at my wits’ end with these little ones.

3. Bargaining

Okay, hear me out! Let’s just stick to the Dollar Spot for now. You can choose any toy from there! Maybe TWO toys! A glow stick or a plastic pail? Or how about a pad of paper and some stickers? So much fun! Oh, you want candy? Sure, M&Ms it is! The breakfast of champions! Cookies? Why not?! I’m begging you—just don’t fall apart!

4. Guilt

What did I do to deserve this? Was it the formula I used? The pacifier that lingered too long? The co-sleeping? Late potty training? Why is my child so reliant on toys? Am I not giving enough love? What am I doing wrong?

5. Depression

I’m the worst parent ever. I’ll never be able to take my kids out again. This is just awful.

6. Acceptance

Fine, go ahead and pick out a toy from the aisle. You’ve worn me down. There goes my fun money for the week. Here, take your toy. Are you happy now? Good, at least one of us is.

7. Regret

What was I thinking? I should never have caved. Lesson learned—again. Kids and Target just don’t mix. I mean it this time!

And then comes the inevitable:

Did I really forget the toilet paper again?!

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Summary:

Shopping at Target with children is a rollercoaster of emotions, from denial and anger to guilt and regret. Each trip is a unique challenge, ultimately leading to a mix of acceptance and the realization that some things may just be better left forgotten.