A mother shares her experience of being shamed for breastfeeding in public by someone she knows.
It’s disheartening when a stranger criticizes a mom for nursing her baby in public, but unfortunately, it’s a common occurrence. Many women face unsolicited comments urging them to cover up, step outside, or simply switch to a bottle, all in an attempt to appease onlookers. However, the sting of criticism is even sharper when it comes from a familiar face.
That’s exactly what happened to a mother whose Instagram post gained traction for highlighting a distressing incident involving her own family.
Jessica Thompson took to social media after a family dinner left her feeling frustrated and hurt. Jessica explained to Home Insemination Kit that the ones she was referring to were her parents. During dinner, her 9-month-old daughter, Lily, needed to nurse. Naturally, Jessica did what any breastfeeding mother would—she fed her baby. “She needed to eat, so I pulled my shirt down to nurse and comfort her. Then, someone at the table decided to throw a napkin over me.”
The napkin thrower? Her own father. Jessica recalled, “I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was trying to cover me up. We were at a nice restaurant, and apparently, that was too ‘upscale’ to nurse openly.”
Jessica didn’t hold back her reaction to her father’s suggestion. “I can’t say I was polite about it. Actually, I’m glad I wasn’t! I let him know how I felt.” She described the gesture as “humiliating,” asserting that “no woman should ever feel inappropriate for feeding her child, no matter where she is.”
She firmly told her father, “Breastfeeding is NOT indecent exposure. It’s not about inviting men to stare at me. EVEN IF, heaven forbid, the baby unlatches and someone sees my bare nipple!” Addressing those who claim nursing mothers seek attention, she stated, “Believe me, I’d rather not expose myself in a public place or a fancy restaurant. I’d prefer that people didn’t see my stretch-marked breasts or sore nipples. But we can’t advocate for breastfeeding while expecting mothers to hide away.”
Jessica also pointed out a reality familiar to many nursing moms: lots of babies resist being covered and will fight against it. “Why should I hide to make someone else comfortable?” she questioned.
Her parents continued to insist that she needed to be considerate of those who might be offended (like men who sexualize breastfeeding), but Jessica felt it should be the men who learn to respect it instead. Since her post went viral, her father hasn’t changed his views on public nursing but does acknowledge her perspective. However, that doesn’t erase the hurt she felt when he reprimanded her at the restaurant.
“It’s much more painful when the criticism comes from someone close to you,” said Jessica. “I was shocked that they were more concerned about other patrons than about the comfort of their own daughter and granddaughter.”
I can relate to Jessica’s experience; during my two years of nursing, the only person who ever shamed me was my dad. Although he didn’t intend to hurt me, his discomfort led to many lonely moments spent nursing in a guest room upstairs. I even found myself isolated on Christmas Eve, feeling alone and sad while my baby nursed. Looking back, I wish I had addressed it more openly.
That’s why I admire mothers like Jessica who stand up for themselves. Breastfeeding is challenging enough without having your own family adding to the pressure. Kudos to her for bravely taking a stand.
For more information on home insemination, you can check out this other blog post from us at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re interested in fertility resources, Make A Mom is a great place to start. And for additional insights, Progyny is an excellent resource for all things pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Jessica Thompson bravely shared her experience of being shamed for breastfeeding in public by her father during a family dinner. She highlighted the challenges mothers face when dealing with criticism from loved ones and emphasized the importance of supporting breastfeeding in any setting.