On a crisp November morning, I knelt down to check my worn sneakers and slightly short jeans. I ran my tongue over my braces, glancing to my left to size up the competition. I was participating in the school’s annual Turkey Trot Run, and as a fifth grader, I finally had my chance to compete. I remember the kid who sat next to me in class, squinting as he declared, “I’m going to beat you.”
As we waited for the race to start, nervous energy fluttered in my stomach. When I finally rounded that last corner, I realized not only was I winning the girls’ division, but I was also crossing the finish line first! The cheers from my friends filled the air as I sprinted across the finish line, exhilarated by my victory. I even won a frozen turkey and made it into the local newspaper! That moment still brings a smile to my face, even three decades later.
Now that I’m raising my own kids, I often think back to that day during award season at school. These days, it seems many parents are overly invested in their children’s accolades, leading to some rather bitter behavior when their child doesn’t come out on top. On the day I won my race, my peers didn’t complain if they didn’t get a turkey too. Other parents didn’t whisper behind my family’s back that their child deserved to win more. We raced, celebrated our wins, and moved on without drama.
So when did we start shaming kids who earn awards for their achievements?
Recently, our middle school hosted an academic awards ceremony, inviting students to celebrate their academic successes and character. As soon as those invites were sent out, parents of students who weren’t invited reacted quickly and negatively. Complaints about unfairness and exclusion flooded social media, with parents bashing the awards, the winners, and even the teachers who chose the recipients. It was shocking to witness such sour grapes.
Is it really a thing now to complain because our kids didn’t get an academic award?
It’s disheartening that we’ve become a generation of parents demanding fairness for every child, pushing the “everyone gets a trophy” mindset. We argue with teachers over grades, fight refs over calls, and demand our kids get more playtime. We’re hovering over our children to the point that they may struggle to handle rejection and loss. How is that okay?
While I understand that some kids might not excel in sports or academics, can we agree that there will always be children who shine in certain areas? There will be an MVP, a prom queen, and a valedictorian. It’s unrealistic to expect all children to be recognized for everything. Some kids will be stars in their own right, whether in theater or sports. When did it become acceptable to diminish their talents to make others feel better?
In the weeks leading up to the awards ceremony, the complaints didn’t stop. There were even talks of asking the principal to abolish the ceremony altogether. It saddened me to see parents belittling the achievements of others, especially since my child was one of the award recipients. I felt proud of his accomplishments, and hearing negativity about an event he deserved to attend was disheartening. By the time the awards night arrived, we attended quietly. Although I shared photos of his achievement, my joy was dampened by the negativity I saw on social media from parents who just couldn’t accept that every child deserves their moment in the spotlight.
My son may not be the sports MVP, and I would never expect to feel upset that he isn’t invited to a sports banquet. I wouldn’t dream of telling another parent whose child excelled that my son should be recognized too. I understand that every child has unique talents, and it’s important for them to be acknowledged for their accomplishments. And while I wouldn’t want to stir up drama with another sports parent, I might mention that my son comes from a long line of Turkey Trot winners.
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In summary, it’s essential to celebrate our children’s achievements while also recognizing that not every child can be the star. We should encourage a spirit of support rather than competition among parents and children alike. After all, every child deserves a moment to shine—let’s not take that away from them.