Some parents ponder when to stop spanking their children. My viewpoint? The answer is simple: never start. My perspective changed dramatically after my own experience.
Growing up, I received spankings from my dad, but it was infrequent and limited to ages 4 through 10, when it might have had some effectiveness. He always explained his reasoning beforehand and never acted out of anger. The spankings were firm enough to sting but never left a bruise, and they were always aimed at my bottom. Importantly, I never felt like a “bad kid” during those moments.
As my wife and I prepared for parenthood, we had lengthy discussions about discipline. She had a similar upbringing, and we initially thought we would follow the same path. Our reasoning was simple: “Sometimes it’s the only way to get a child’s attention.”
However, just moments after our son was born, my wife looked me in the eyes and said, “You’re never going to touch this child.” It may have been the rush of hormones after giving birth, but she was serious.
So, we made a conscious choice not to spank. While it required more creativity and effort to find alternative disciplinary methods, it ended up being a positive challenge. Now, after welcoming five kids into our family (okay, I’m still navigating this journey), I can’t say the temptation hasn’t presented itself at times. Yet, we’ve stuck to our commitment, and the outcomes align perfectly with what research suggests.
It’s undoubtedly for the better. So, my advice? Skip the hitting.
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In summary, my stance on spanking changed entirely after my first child was born. While I once believed it was a useful form of discipline, personal experience led me to understand the benefits of positive and engaging methods instead.