Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: September 14, 2016
I’m definitely not a Type A mom — far from it. If I were to grade myself based on societal expectations, I’d probably land at a solid C+. But if the “Shitty Moms” or “Scary Mommies” were assessing my motherhood skills, I’d be scoring off the charts. And those are the moms I truly want in my circle.
Once the haze of postpartum depression lifted, I had a revelation (thanks to therapy): I wouldn’t become the super mom who aces breastfeeding, nails all the Pinterest crafts, cooks elaborate dinners every night, or embraces every Mommy and Me event and birthday party. That’s when my best friend came up with the perfect title for me — she dubbed me the Three-Hour Mom, a title I wear with pride.
Yes, I’m good for three hours of parenting at a time. I call this “interval parenting.” After three hours, I need a break — whether that means a nap, a glass of wine, or just a moment to breathe before diving into the next round. Sometimes those three hours are magical, filled with love, laughter, and cuddles. Other times? Not so much. They can be packed with cries, tantrums, and an endless chorus of “Mommy!” or “I have to go potty!” even when I just asked five minutes ago.
After a week of these three-hour stretches, I feel like I need a vacation — an adult vacation. Okay, if I’m being honest, even after just a few days, I start longing for some solo time. Picture this: you check into a hotel alone, free from the tiny humans and the man-child you share your life with. You step into your room, see a cozy bed meant just for you, and immediately shed your clothes. You slip into a plush robe and dive into the clean sheets you didn’t have to wash. Then, you fall asleep.
When you wake up, you order room service — complete with wine — indulging in every bite of that brownie sundae you ordered for dessert, knowing you don’t have to share it with anyone. You can Netflix and chill in the truest sense, just enjoying some time to yourself. Or, if that’s your thing, you could indulge in some personal time as well.
The next day, you wake up without an alarm at a blissful hour, and you can either explore or repeat the day of relaxation. When you re-enter the world of motherhood, you feel refreshed and ready to take on the challenges again. But then, three hours later, you might find yourself pleading with your child to watch TV because you simply don’t have the energy to play.
As I proudly embrace my Three-Hour Mom identity, I often grapple with the desire to be an engaged, present mother while also yearning for that carefree independence. I know I can embody both roles, but some days, the latter takes precedence. I strive to be present for my son, even if it means letting him watch his favorite show while I steal a few cuddles on the couch.
School and camp have been lifesavers for my sanity. My son gets to learn while playing, and I get precious moments to do errands alone, which feel like mini vacations. There’s nothing quite like grocery shopping or hitting Target solo!
Every couple of months, I make it a point to sneak away for a quick trip. Sometimes it’s a head start for a family vacation or a weekend with my college friends. Whatever the case, I do this for myself, unapologetically. My friends who are more hesitant to leave their kids often joke that I got all my guilt out during the whirlwind of new motherhood. As moms, we give so much of ourselves, and taking time for ourselves is not just okay — it’s essential.
Some may view the Three-Hour Mom concept as a sign of laziness, but I know my limits. I recognize what I need and prioritize my happiness and sanity. I share my universe with my child, and it’s vital for both of us that I take care of myself. I am who I am — the Three-Hour Mom — and I embrace it wholeheartedly. You should consider giving it a try!
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