Loving Me Means Navigating My OCD

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If you’re in a relationship with me and my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety, here are a few things you might encounter:

  1. Repetitive Questions: I tend to ask the same questions repeatedly. It’s not that I didn’t hear your answer the first time; I just need reassurance to feel secure in my understanding.
  2. Irrational Fears: I often grapple with phobias about various things—car accidents, choking, illnesses, and even home invasions. My anxiety amplifies these fears, making them feel more real than they might to others.
  3. Unexpected Panic Attacks: These can hit me with little warning. Suddenly, the room feels like it’s spinning, and I might experience physical symptoms like shaking and nausea. I’ve learned to manage them better over time, but they’re still draining.
  4. Picky Eating Habits: My anxiety leads to trust issues, even with food. I often worry about whether I’ll like something or if it could make me sick, which complicates what should be a simple task.
  5. Excessive Hand Washing: I wash my hands frequently to avoid panic. If I skip a washing session or don’t do it for long enough, the anxiety can escalate quickly.
  6. Second-Guessing Decisions: I often doubt myself. Previous mistakes loom large in my mind, making it hard to feel confident about future choices.
  7. Reassurance Needed: When anxiety rises, I crave someone to tell me, “It’s going to be okay.” Knowing that my fears are acknowledged and having a steady presence beside me is essential.
  8. Apologizing Often: I find myself saying “I’m sorry” frequently, wishing I could be more carefree and easygoing. It’s hard to accept myself as I am when I feel the pressure to be perfect.

Navigating life with OCD and anxiety is no easy feat, and some may struggle to understand it. However, I value the people in my life who care for me without needing to fully comprehend my challenges. I’m aware of my areas for growth and am actively working on them, but I hope that my positive traits—kindness, humor, generosity, and loyalty—shine through as well. My journey with OCD and anxiety is ongoing, and I truly appreciate those who accept me, quirks and all.

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Summary

Living with OCD requires understanding and patience from loved ones. While I navigate my fears and habits, I appreciate those who support me without needing to fully understand my struggles. My positive traits help balance the challenges, and I hope for acceptance, quirks included.

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