Marriage can be challenging, complicated, and messy—but it is undeniably worth it.
I’ll never forget my dad’s words on my wedding day: “Getting married is one of the most unnatural things two people can do.” I laughed, knowing that my parents never romanticized marriage in our household. It was clear that love could be tough, messy, and sometimes frustrating, but it was always worth the effort.
How We Met
One night at a party, I met my husband, Tom. From the very beginning, he knew he wanted to marry me. For those who know Tom, making decisions is not his strong suit; he once debated for ages about which silverware to register for. But with me, he just felt it.
Our journey began with Tom chasing me, and me turning him down repeatedly. But when we finally started dating, just five months later, I found myself with a ring on my finger. Before long, we were married with two children, a home, and facing a life-altering cancer diagnosis.
The Diagnosis
Tom remembers the day we received the news vividly; he was installing insulation in the garage when the call came about my diagnosis. I can still picture us clinging to each other, overwhelmed with tears. How could this be our reality?
In the face of it all, Tom bought a pink leather journal to document my doctor visits, jotting down every word from the doctors, highlighting the hopeful remarks, and reading them back to me when despair threatened to take hold. He took care of the boys, made sure they felt loved, and managed our home while still being my rock. He prepared my tea, folded the laundry, and even shaved my head when chemotherapy took its toll.
The Reality of Marriage
Our marriage isn’t picture-perfect. It’s not always tidy; we don’t always see eye to eye. I sometimes roll my eyes or vent my frustrations. There are times when one of us feels overlooked, and we have to sift through the chaos of our emotions to understand each other better.
But it’s not like the movies; it’s better. It’s in the little things—Tom waits for me to sit down before he starts eating. He says “bless you” even if we’re in the midst of an argument. He prepares my toothbrush when I’m rushing out the door and makes smoothies with organic fruit, despite his budget concerns. He washes my car, holds my hand during errands, and takes care of our boys while making them laugh until they can’t breathe. He picks up litter he sees on the street and helps neighbors shovel snow. He even sings along to our favorite songs while cooking on Saturday mornings.
Most importantly, he loves me for every part of who I am—not just the good, but the messy, broken bits too. He truly sees me, including the hidden aspects of my personality.
A Love That Endures
In the darkest moments during my cancer battle, I told Tom, “I would rather be sick with you than healthy without you.” That sentiment still rings true.
Recently, we celebrated an early anniversary with a hike in the Rocky Mountain National Forest, where we watched the sunrise together, our knees touching—symbolizing our connection as we witness the dawn of a new day.
Ten years ago, I made the best decision of my life: I married Tom. He inspires me to be my best self, and I hope I do the same for him. Marriage isn’t about breezy moments; it’s about holding hands through the storms, getting soaked in life’s challenges, and choosing to reach out to one another time and again. It’s about embracing each other fully, including the imperfections.
In the end, it’s hard, messy, and beautifully real—and definitely worth it.
Further Reading
For more insights on family and relationships, you might find this post on home insemination helpful. If you’re interested in fertility support, check out this resource on fertility boosters for men. For anyone seeking information on pregnancy and home insemination, this is an excellent resource: Pregnancy and Home Insemination.
In summary, marriage can be a wild ride filled with ups and downs, but the love, support, and companionship it brings make every challenge worthwhile.