When I was a child, playdates as we know them today didn’t exist. We simply roamed our neighborhoods, forging friendships until it was time to head home before the streetlights flickered on. Nowadays, however, playdates are meticulously planned events, and since I’m the one coordinating them, I feel a strong urge to ensure my kids display their best behavior. After all, my reputation is at stake!
I have a list of reminders I share with my children before they head off to a playdate. While I tell myself that it’s about teaching them appropriate social behavior, a part of me is also concerned about how their actions reflect on our family.
Here are some of the key points I share with my kids before they go off to play:
- Pretending to be a dog is fine, but please don’t bite anyone.
- Even if you’re not in the mood, offer to help tidy up.
- Always flush the toilet! No one else needs to hear about your bathroom fears.
- If you don’t like their snacks, politely decline. No need to express your dislike.
- If you feel nauseous, make sure to use the toilet or garbage can. We don’t want to be known as the family with barf on the couch!
- Show off your dance moves; they’re adorable!
- Take off your shoes at the door, even if others don’t.
- If your socks have holes, it’s best to remove them too.
- Aim straight when using the bathroom. We don’t want to leave a mess.
- Please don’t break anything; it’s not polite. If it happens by accident, just apologize.
- Offer to help with any homework. It might lead to more invitations!
- No fighting, even if they’re not nice. Be the bigger person; just avoid them after.
- Remember your “please” and “thank yous,” even for snacks you don’t care for.
- Keep all your clothes on, please. We’re not nudists!
- Share your toys, even if they don’t share theirs. It’s good practice for life.
- No booger eating—yours or theirs. Just don’t do it!
- If they’re not into Pokémon, keep it to yourself. The same goes for Minecraft.
- Avoid name-calling, like “butthole.” I regret teaching you that one.
- If you need to scratch an itch, do it in the bathroom and wash your hands afterward. No one wants a snack from “that kid.”
- If you need to go to the bathroom, go right away. We don’t want any accidents—believe me, that’s how we ended up with a new sofa!
- And please, don’t mention these rules to anyone, especially not me!
I don’t recite this entire list every time; it’s more tailored to what they’re currently struggling with. Ultimately, I want them to represent themselves and our family positively. I know their strengths and weaknesses, and playdates can be a true test of character.
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In summary, navigating playdates can be tricky, but with a little guidance, our kids can learn to interact positively with others while also representing our family well.