A few months before my daughter arrived, I left my job as a full-time educator and joined my partner in launching a local business. However, unexpected challenges forced us to shut it down just a year and a half later. As we planned our next move, which involves relocating quite a distance, we decided to temporarily stay in my in-laws’ home in my partner’s hometown to save money while we await necessary paperwork.
Here are four of the most irritating things I’ve encountered while living with my in-laws:
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Grandparents Have a License to Spoil
Grandparents have an undeniable affection for their grandchildren, and they relish the chance to indulge them. They’ve already navigated the tough parts of parenting and now enjoy a more relaxed role, often prioritizing fun over discipline. This can lead to an influx of sweets, late-night play sessions, and an occasional disregard for the boundaries I’ve worked hard to establish. My daughter, who used to listen when I said no to snacks, now follows anyone with food like a hungry puppy. The result? Late bedtimes, grumpy mornings, and a lot of eye rolls from me. It’s funny how I’m left managing the aftermath of their indulgent ways. -
Generational Parenting Judgments
When I explain my parenting choices, my in-laws sometimes act as if I’m criticizing their methods. “I let my son ride in my lap, and he turned out fine,” they say. Yes, he’s fine, but times have changed, and best practices have evolved. While I appreciate their experiences, I need them to respect my decisions about rear-facing car seats and daily baths. Their pride can be a bit hurt when I have to start a sentence with, “Experts today recommend…” It’s a daily conversation, like a recurring family dinner where I have to defend every choice I make. -
The Pressure of Feeling Judged
While grandparents may feel judged, I often feel the need to justify my decisions. Explaining why I don’t want the baby playing with empty pill bottles can become a drawn-out affair. “It’s empty, but I don’t want to set a dangerous precedent,” I find myself saying. Even when they agree, there’s a tone that suggests they’re not fully on board, which can be exhausting. The worst part is when they express their opinions about my parenting choices when I’m not around, relaying complaints to my partner instead of discussing them directly with me. -
Endless Questions
Living with parents again feels like stepping back into my teenage years. My partner and I are both in our 30s and are used to our independence, but suddenly we’re fielding a barrage of questions every time we leave the house. Where are we going? What are we buying? What did we eat? And the baby’s schedule? The inquiries can feel relentless, as they want to know every detail of our day. While I recognize some of it is just conversation, it can become overwhelming, especially when I’m already dealing with the aftermath of their spoiling tendencies.
Despite these challenges, living with my in-laws does offer some breathing room. They love spending time with my child, which allows me to step back occasionally. I can take a breather knowing that someone else can entertain my daughter, read her favorite books, or even help with meals. It’s a mixed bag, but I do appreciate the support, even if I cringe at the thought of what they might be feeding her.
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In summary, living with your parents as an adult can be a challenging experience filled with old habits, unsolicited advice, and constant questioning. Yet, it also offers the chance for family bonding and the opportunity to take a step back from parenting duties. You just have to find the balance.