You know those nagging feelings that your logical mind tells you shouldn’t matter, but your inner fierce warrior just can’t let go? Well, my inner fierce warrior is tough to silence.
I am deeply loved by my partner and our kids, and I recognize my value in our family. I play a crucial role in keeping everything together. I know that I contribute to our household in many meaningful ways: preparing lunches, getting the kids ready for bed, trimming nails, helping with teeth brushing (except after ice cream), doing laundry, managing school drop-offs and pick-ups, assisting with homework, teaching life lessons, creating special memories, and building strong connections with each child. These acts of love are what define my motherhood.
I understand that our kids refer to having three mothers, ask if they can call me “Mom,” and even mention “the other Mommy” when I’m not the one responding. They might tell their friends, “I can’t do that, Mom says no,” even when they know I’m not the biological parent.
But when your name is “Felicity,” others often don’t recognize that bond.
While I can sit with a balanced heart and appreciate what I have, my fierce warrior still raises her voice.
She gets upset when others hear, “Felicity, can we play for five more minutes?” and mistakenly think I’m just a babysitter or nanny (which stung a bit since I had to use “nanny” for a while).
My fierce warrior gets frustrated when I have to fill out a permission slip or call the school, and my name doesn’t match my partner’s or our children’s, leading to awkward verification checks.
She rolls her eyes when people question why I’d want to attend parent-teacher conferences or medical appointments.
And she gets really riled up when someone gifts our child an item of clothing that says “Mommy Loves You.”
Guess what? Felicity loves you too. But sadly, there’s no apparel that says that.
My rational side knows it’s silly to argue with my partner over a “Mommy’s Little Devil” shirt chosen for school. It’s not about denying her the chance to dress our kids in silly slogans; it’s about knowing that opportunity is lost to me.
I’m grateful for the countless moments I do have as “Felicity,” and I can assure you that these fierce moments are rare and fleeting. But I would be dishonest if I said they didn’t happen.
So, my dear kids, years from now, if you want to decorate your graduation cap with “Felicity Loves You,” I’ll be cheering you on. My fierce warrior will be louder than ever, and I’ll embarrass you just like any good parent would.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
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In summary, being a parent is about the love and support we provide, regardless of the name we go by. It’s the actions and commitments that truly define our roles in our children’s lives.