The morning I discovered I was pregnant with my third child, I was carrying my two little ones, ages two and one, down the stairs. This was a beloved morning ritual where I sang a silly song called “Two Babies” as we headed to breakfast. But I quickly realized that things needed to change. With my body soon to be swollen and achy, carrying two toddlers at once wouldn’t be feasible for long. So, I took a deep breath, put them down gently, and held their hands instead. Naturally, this was met with loud protests. They didn’t care about the baby on the way or how exhausted I was; they just wanted their fun morning tradition. As I stood there listening to their cries, I realized I needed to adapt.
In the past, I would have tried to calm them down with treats or distractions, but I understood that soon I would be juggling feeding their new sibling while managing two tantruming toddlers. I had to be okay with letting them express their feelings sometimes. The challenge of keeping my oldest from feeling neglected when my daughter arrived was overwhelming, while simultaneously giving my newborn the attention he needed. As I prepared to raise three children, I knew I had to change my approach. Here are five things I stopped doing:
- I Stopped Allowing Visitors at the Hospital.
I made it clear that only a select few people could come to see us at the hospital. My husband made a couple of calls, but I quickly took control of the situation. I wanted to focus on giving birth without the added stress of visitors waiting outside. I needed that precious time alone with my husband and our new baby to rest and bond. - I Stopped Striving for Perfection.
When my husband left for work, I was outnumbered by the kids. With three little ones, it was chaos! All three often needed something at once, and it became impossible to comfort them all simultaneously. I had to accept a little chaos and we all learned to adapt. - I Stopped Worrying About Everything.
If my older kids watched TV for a few hours while I nursed the baby, so be it. I let go of the need to constantly entertain them. Instead of making homemade snacks, I embraced the convenience of packaged ones. I stopped stressing over messes and laughed off unsolicited parenting advice. - I Stopped Welcoming Uninvited Guests.
Unless you were invited and promised to bring food, you weren’t coming over. The days of “surprise visits” from friends and family were over. I was tired, emotional, and often in pajamas, so only those willing to help were allowed to drop by. - I Stopped Saying Yes to Everything.
This was especially tough on my kids and my husband. I had to say no more often. “I can’t play right now; I need to feed your brother,” became my new mantra. I also had to set boundaries with friends and family, and those who understood stuck around while those who didn’t faded away.
Adjusting to life with three kids was no small feat. It turned everything upside down, and at times I felt lost. But through it all, I knew I was loving and doing my best for my children. I learned that it was okay to let go, prioritize my well-being, and mother in the best way I knew how.
For more on navigating parenting challenges, check out our article about intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for expert advice on fertility, visit Make a Mom. For additional fertility treatments, WebMD provides an excellent resource.
Summary:
In this article, I share the five major changes I made when I welcomed my third child, emphasizing the importance of adapting to new circumstances. From limiting hospital visitors to prioritizing self-care, I learned to embrace the chaos and focus on what truly mattered—my family.