Recently, while driving with my daughter, I heard a female radio host refer to the new British Prime Minister, Sarah Green, as a “difficult” woman for standing her ground. It struck me how often assertive women are labeled this way. I decided it was the perfect moment to chat with my daughter about the beauty of being a “difficult” woman.
I want her to be fierce and unapologetic. I aim for her to be a girl boss—not to be confused with a bossy girl. I admire her ability to stand her ground at such a young age. She has this incredible knack for remaining calm and collected, which is truly part of her essence. However, I also recognize that as she grows, it will become more challenging to own her identity. It’s crucial that she knows she is the best person to lead her own life. Here are seven ways I’m helping her confidently assert herself.
- Take Charge of Your Body. Your body belongs solely to you. You have the right to decide who gets to touch or hug you. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, it’s okay to say no, even after initially agreeing. Dress to express yourself, not to please others. Remember, you aren’t responsible for how people perceive you based on your appearance.
- Own Your Needs. Always ask for what you want, but also prioritize your own happiness. Don’t rely on others for your joy—true contentment comes from understanding and fulfilling your own desires. Waiting for someone else to fill a void is a risky game that seldom works.
- Use Your Voice. Don’t shy away from expressing your thoughts. You are unique, and the world deserves to hear your authentic self. There will be times when people may label you as bossy or difficult, but that shouldn’t silence you. Speak up and share your perspective.
- Be in Charge of Your Emotions. Acknowledge your feelings rather than burying them. It’s important to process emotions in a healthy manner and to express how you truly feel. No one else can dictate your emotions but you.
- Control Your Actions. Mistakes are an inevitable part of growth—embrace them! If you slip up, take responsibility and learn from it. Don’t let peer pressure dictate your choices; your actions should reflect your values.
- Trust Your Instincts. Your intuition is a powerful guide. Always listen to it; it’s reliable and will steer you in the right direction.
- Share Your Opinions. Don’t hesitate to voice your thoughts. It’s essential to express your viewpoint, even during disagreements, and do so with kindness. However, during heated moments, remember that once words are spoken, they can’t be taken back, so choose wisely.
I know I’ll have many more conversations like this with my daughter as time goes on. Honestly, I still have to remind myself of these lessons. Standing up for what I believe in, voicing my opinions, and asserting my needs can be challenging. But I want her to see me embodying these qualities, even if it means being labeled as difficult. I’d rather she view me as someone who fearlessly embraces her true self than as someone who remains silent.
Many women branded as “difficult” are simply too busy achieving their goals to care about the label. I’ll wear that title proudly, and I hope my daughter will too. For more insights on this topic, check out our other blog posts, including one on the importance of self-assertion.