The most rewarding choice I made today was to ignore my little one, Jake. Yes, it’s a fact that he can’t whip up his own meals, dress himself, or even use the bathroom independently. While it’s true I’m his primary caregiver, I still decided to step back for a moment.
Before you judge me as an uncaring parent or a lazy caregiver, let me clarify: Jake is only two years old. And I was merely a room away when I chose to give him some space.
Today, like many days, my toddler was in desperate need of my attention. While it feels great to be so wanted, after countless demands and requests, it can become overwhelming. By mid-morning, I realized I had lost my enthusiasm somewhere under the pile of toys and just wanted a moment to breathe.
Frustration started creeping in. I could hear it in my voice and sense it in my sighs. I began to use the usual responses: “Just a minute,” “You have plenty of toys,” “Let me finish this first,” “I’ll play with you soon,” and “You need to be patient.” Naturally, Jake ignored those and kept pestering me, leaving me drowning in guilt. Maybe I was indeed a terrible mother. Did he perceive my actions as “Mommy doesn’t want to spend time with you” or “You’re not important to her”?
I had foolishly thought by my third child I would have it all figured out. Instead, Jake, my youngest, challenges me more than ever. Like any parent, I want my kids to feel loved and happy. Although I don’t have many answers, I’ve learned one undeniable truth: it’s not my job to make my children happy. Happiness is an inside job, and the sooner we all understand this, the better.
So, I took a breath and genuinely listened to what Jake was asking. Even as he tugged at my hand, pleading “Mommy, play with me,” I realized he was really saying, “Mommy, I need you to entertain me.” As the youngest with two older siblings, he’s never expected to lead playtime or suggest activities. Instead, he enjoys simply joining in on their fun and expects me to keep the entertainment going while his siblings are at school.
After spending some quality time playing his favorite games, I made a conscious decision to ignore his pleas for a while. Each time he requested my attention, I calmly explained that I had a task to complete and he could either help or find something to do on his own.
And then something beautiful happened. After just a few minutes of being left alone, Jake became completely engrossed in a game of make-believe. It wasn’t just that he was using his vivid imagination; it was the serene look of joy on his face. His smile radiated pure happiness, and he found it all by himself.
Maybe I’m not such a bad mom after all.
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Summary
Ignoring my toddler today turned out to be a blessing. By stepping back, I allowed him to engage his imagination and find happiness independently. It was a lesson for both of us about the importance of self-entertainment and personal joy in our parenting journey.