When my stylish daughter received a $40 gift card to DSW for her 13th birthday, I sensed a showdown brewing. For two years, we had been clashing over the suitability of high heels—she was all for it, while I was firmly against it.
Our journey to DSW for back-to-school sneakers started off peacefully. She quickly selected a pair of Nikes, while my husband and son aimlessly wandered toward the cash register. But wait—this was not going to end that easily.
A quick scan of the store revealed her sprawled on the floor of the clearance section, carefully trying on five-inch slingback cork wedge sandals with thick black straps and shiny gold buckles. “Do not say anything!” she grinned at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. I held back the urge to help as she stood up and strutted toward the mirror, where the preening commenced.
Our encounters with high heels were not new. When she was 11, my sister-in-law gifted her a pair of shiny black 6-inch peep-toe stilettos that had enchanted my daughter. The excitement on her face was as if she had just unwrapped a box of puppies. My husband shot me a “What were you thinking?!” look, which didn’t fade even after I admitted I had okayed the gift.
“OMG! I love them! I look amazing!” she exclaimed the next day, confidently clicking across our hardwood floors. “I’m wearing these out tonight!”
“No, you’re not,” my husband and I immediately replied.
“Give me three good reasons why not!” she shot back, her negotiation skills shining through. “They’re just not… appropriate,” we stammered, citing concerns over broken ankles and injuries. When that argument flopped, we resorted to words like “cheap” and “wrong impression,” even awkwardly mentioning “ladies of the night.”
Honestly, I felt torn. I didn’t want my daughter to leave the house looking like she was ready for a club, but I struggled to find a solid reason against it. She wasn’t going out inappropriately dressed; it wasn’t illegal. They were just heels, right?
In the end, I gave her the green light after my husband deferred to me. She wore them out—twice. On both occasions, she received a mix of puzzled looks and encouraging comments from adults who appreciated her boldness, even when she admitted the shoes were a bit uncomfortable but totally worth it.
Fast forward two years, and there we were again in that DSW clearance aisle. My husband asked, “Are you really going to let her buy those?” Caught in a dilemma, I chose silence, and he exited the store.
Later, I explained to him that I said yes because I could see the joy on our daughter’s face as she admired herself in the mirror. She was envisioning her future self, brimming with confidence and beauty. I agreed because she had expressed how much she hated feeling stuck between childhood and adulthood. Those cork wedges represented hope for her—a step toward feeling grown-up.
I also felt it was important for her to make her own decisions with her birthday money. I admit it makes me a bit self-conscious walking next to my 13-year-old in towering heels. I often wonder what other moms think of my choice to let her wear them.
But she knows those sandals might be a bit too much, yet she takes pride in standing out. (She even avoided reading the Harry Potter series just because everyone else loved it.)
The best part? As we stroll beside each other—her now towering at 5-foot-10—I can’t help but laugh when she occasionally reaches for my shoulder for balance. I try to maintain a serious demeanor as she playfully drapes her arm over me, but we both end up laughing. We understand the absurdity of it all and how insignificant it really is, and it deepens our bond as mother and daughter.
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In summary, while I have my reservations, allowing my daughter to wear high heels has become a unique bonding experience. It’s more than just shoes; it’s about her self-expression, confidence, and navigating the tricky transition from childhood to adulthood.