Every day begins with the best intentions to tackle my never-ending to-do list, but by evening, I often find myself drained, reflecting on all the tasks I didn’t manage to complete. Despite my motivation and noble goals, there never seem to be enough hours in the day to finish a list that keeps expanding.
While I scroll through the internet, I’m bombarded by “experts” proclaiming that if I can spend time scrolling through social media, snacking, or even taking a long bathroom break, then I can definitely squeeze in a workout, meditate, or improve my life in some miraculous way. “No excuses” becomes their battle cry as they flaunt their toned abs, manage to juggle five kids, earn a degree while working 80-hour weeks, and run successful side businesses—all while looking polished every day. If they can do it, so can I, right? After all, we all have the same 24 hours as the likes of Beyoncé!
Sure, in theory, I could fill every moment of my day with productivity, and yes, I might achieve more. But where does the concept of “doing what I want” fit into this picture? Where do those precious moments of unwinding land on the productivity scale?
Maybe I do have the time. But completing tasks requires more than just clock hours; it’s akin to baking a cake—having flour and sugar alone won’t suffice. You need other essential ingredients, like genuine passion. You must want to engage in whatever you choose to fill your time with and find joy in it. After spending hours on obligatory tasks, I’m definitely going to take a few moments for myself, even if that means doing absolutely nothing.
People often make excuses for skipping these activities because they are tough. Achieving remarkable results demands sustained effort, and life’s daily grind can leave us feeling too drained to take on anything extra. It’s not merely about the hours available; it’s that we already face plenty of challenges and the fear of failing at yet another task can feel more damaging than opting out entirely.
Even the well-meaning motivation from others can sometimes backfire, leaving me feeling inadequate and like I’m wasting my potential. This negative sentiment only adds to my “mom guilt.” My mental health matters, not just to me, but to my family who has to live with me. If that means I don’t spend hours at the gym or devote my evenings to a side hustle, then so be it. There’s enough guilt floating around without someone else suggesting I could achieve more if I wasn’t so “lazy” or apathetic.
And even if I did manage to squeeze in those workouts, my mind would likely find a new reason to feel guilty: “That time spent exercising could have been devoted to reading with the kids,” or “How can you waste an hour on this when that filthy kitchen floor needs mopping?” If I’m going to feel guilty no matter what I do, I’ll choose the activity that brings me joy.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t commit my time to achieving extraordinary results. I’m simply saying it has to be something that resonates with me personally—something that matters to my heart—not something dictated by someone else’s success.
Nobody has time for that!
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Summary
Moms often face pressure to optimize their time, but balancing daily responsibilities with personal desires is crucial for mental well-being. It’s important to prioritize joy and fulfillment over societal expectations. Finding a personal passion can lead to a more satisfying life, rather than trying to meet external benchmarks of success.