What to (Really) Expect After Delivery

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You’ve read the pregnancy manuals and listened to your friends, but nothing truly prepares you for the whirlwind that follows delivery. Sure, books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting offer insights, but they often gloss over the real-life experiences you’ll face as a new parent. Your pals might have shared a few details, but let’s face it—they were probably trying to spare you the nitty-gritty. So, let’s dive into the unfiltered reality of what happens once you’re in the hospital after your little one arrives.

1. Brace for the Blood

You’ve probably heard the warnings about postpartum bleeding and those massive pads that are more like pillows. But trust me, nothing could prepare you for the actual scene. You might think a maxi pad the size of a novel would suffice, but in reality, you might feel like a scene from Carrie. Don’t panic; this flood does eventually subside, even if it seems relentless at first. And yes, it’s going to get messy—just be ready for it.

2. Ditch the Cute PJs

After giving birth, your focus will shift from looking cute to staying comfortable. The adorable nightgown you picked out? Forget it. You’ll want to embrace that backless hospital gown that’s about as stylish as a potato sack. It’s all about survival for the first few weeks (or months) anyway—so reserve your cute sleepwear for later when you’re feeling more like yourself.

3. The Peeing Situation

Here’s a fun fact: after delivery, you’re expected to pee within the first hour. Sounds simple? Not so fast! Things might feel a bit swollen down there, making this task feel daunting. The nurses will keep a close eye on you, and if you can’t manage it, they may need to catheterize you. Yep, after pushing a baby out, they want to stick something up there. Good luck with that!

4. Exhaustion is Real

You’re told to bond with your newborn, but the reality is that you’re running on fumes. If you find your eyelids drooping, don’t hesitate to ask the nurses to take the baby to the nursery for a while. Trust me, you’ll need those precious moments of shuteye because, between feedings and check-ups, sleep will become a rare commodity. Remember, even party-goers at Bonnaroo need naps—so why shouldn’t you?

5. Milk Madness

Soon after delivery, the milk will start to flow, but it may take a little while. You’ll be encouraged to feed your baby that “liquid gold” known as colostrum, even if it doesn’t look like much at first. The pressure to make feeding decisions can feel intense, especially if you’re considering formula. And don’t worry—your body will eventually reward you with some impressive milk production. Enjoy those fuller breasts while you can; they’re definitely more appealing than the aftermath of childbirth.

Now welcome to the beginning of many sleepless nights, exhausting days, and the inevitable anxiety that comes with caring for this tiny human. You’ve got this!

For more insights on navigating the world of parenting, check out our post on intracervicalinsemination.org. And if you’re looking for at-home insemination kits, Make A Mom is a great resource. Additionally, for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit NHS.



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