Today, a man named Tom will be released from prison after serving just three months for the horrific crime of assaulting an unconscious woman behind a building. His father, Steve, infamously referred to his son’s lenient sentence as “a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action,” offering more disturbing justifications in his court statement. Reading his words left me shaken, my hands trembled, and my body felt the weight of those words: twenty minutes of action.
I can’t even begin to express the disgust I feel about this phrase, yet I know I have to share what “20 minutes of action” truly means in the context of my life.
This is what “20 minutes of action” looks like for me:
I have avoided baths for most of my life and prefer showers. The mere thought of getting into a pool sends shivers down my spine. Why? Because my abuser used to violate me and then wash away the evidence of his actions in the water, while I was powerless to fight back. If someone had seen us, they would have mistaken his actions for a loving gesture, but I knew the truth.
Does this make you uncomfortable? It should. I refuse to remain silent about the horrors of abuse. The shame belongs to my abuser and those who turned a blind eye.
My children, like most kids, love swimming. Each time I step into the pool with them, it takes every ounce of my emotional strength. Watching them enjoy such innocent fun feels like I’m drowning beneath the weight of my painful memories. Those experiences haunt me, making it hard to breathe, even when I’m above water.
“Twenty minutes of action” has stolen precious moments from my life. It has robbed me of the joy of spending time with my kids, as I constantly worry about their safety. It has taken away hours of my life spent in doctors’ offices managing health issues caused by my trauma. Each day, I question whether I deserve love or if I’m too broken to be a good parent.
I am so fed up with a society that prioritizes the futures of abusers over the well-being of victims. If you find yourself siding with the perpetrators, consider this: you are enabling future harm.
This is not just a problem of alcohol culture; it’s a society where rapists face minimal consequences, and the focus is often on their well-being rather than that of their victims.
To the incredibly brave survivor of this recent case, whose victim statement is powerful and needs to be heard—keep speaking out. Your voice matters.
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In summary, “20 minutes of action” signifies a painful reality that extends far beyond mere moments of time. It encompasses the lasting impact on the lives of survivors, shaping their interactions with the world and their loved ones.