Becoming a parent often comes with a shocking realization: nothing can truly prepare you for the overwhelming mess that accompanies raising kids. How can something so cute also be so utterly repulsive? From boogers smeared across surfaces (and sometimes your clothes) to pee on the toilet seat and poop appearing in the most unexpected places—not to mention the inevitable vomit. Oh yes, there will be vomit. So. Much. Vomit.
The icky aspects of parenting quickly become the norm, and parents learn to deal with the onslaught of bodily fluids with a sense of humor. Enter the funny parents of Twitter, who are well aware of just how disgusting our sweet little cherubs can be.
1. Making an impression.
Welcome to the world of parenting! Get ready to embrace snot like never before.
2. Picky eaters.
Kids can be so selective about food, yet they’re happy to throw any number of non-edibles into their mouths. Please, let’s not revisit the time my toddler son ingested a piece of cat fur.
3. *gags audibly*
When you hear your baby wake up on the monitor and they’re not crying, you might think, “Oh look, they’re playing quietly!” No, they’re probably just using their poop to redecorate the nursery walls.
4. The reality of raising boys.
If you have boys, be prepared to spend a lot of time holding your nose and trying to remain calm while asking, “Why can’t you just aim for the toilet?”
5. The scent of relaxation.
Of course, lighting a candle won’t help. It might just start crying and leaking snot all over your favorite sweater.
6. Unusual attachments.
You might find it strange to feel fond of bodily fluids until you have a toddler in the midst of potty training.
7. Bold little ones.
Sometimes, you have to admire their fearlessness. They have zero shame, which is a lesson we all could learn—while scraping dried boogers off the walls, of course.
8. Trust issues.
Keep a bucket in every room and vehicle. You can’t trust anyone.
9. Poop problems persist.
Just because the diaper days are over doesn’t mean the poop saga ends. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
10. College days don’t compare.
You thought you encountered a lot of vomit in college? Just wait until you have kids.
For more parenting insights, check out our other blog post on intracervical insemination, where you can find helpful resources. Also, for expert advice on fertility, visit Make a Mom, a trusted authority on the subject. Finally, for additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, CCRM IVF is an excellent resource.
In summary, parenting is filled with messy surprises, and the grossness that comes with kids is something every parent learns to laugh about. From unexpected bodily fluids to their fearless approach to life, the journey is definitely a wild ride. Embrace it with humor, and remember—you’re not alone in this!