“They’ve grown so much!”
My partner seemed taken aback, as if he had just noticed this monumental change. His wide eyes searched mine for an explanation.
“I can’t believe how fast it happened.”
Oh, but I can.
Like many significant life changes, this transformation had been unfolding slowly over the years, even if neither of us was ready to acknowledge it. I had noticed it sooner; the reality was that the little ones had never quite fit into my world, even from the start. These days, during quiet moments when we tackle chores like laundry—just as we were doing then—we find ourselves reminiscing about those tiny tots. What felt like a gradual shift to me seemed to have only just dawned on him.
“I remember holding them in one hand, those precious little bundles,” he sighed. “Can they really be gone for good?”
“Don’t be so overdramatic.”
“Well, I miss them, that’s all.” He looked hurt, as if my indifference had struck a chord.
“I’m sorry, but when they were that small, they were downright exasperating.”
It was the truth! Hadn’t we reached a point where we could be honest about our experiences? For some, parenting seemed effortless, but for me, it was a constant battle. Every sleepless night and chaotic day had me on edge, and I could finally admit that to him.
“How can you say that?! They were so cute!”
“Maybe to you, but they were crawling all over me every second!”
“I understand you see it differently, but I miss those days.” He glanced away, lost in thought.
“I’m sure you do, but they always woke me up at ungodly hours. Ugh.” I rolled my eyes.
“They woke me too!” He managed a grin.
“Do we need them around to be happy? Is that what kept us together?” I asked.
“No, don’t be silly. They just brought so much excitement to our lives back then.”
“Maybe for you… I can hardly remember them being that small anyway. It’s all a blur.”
“I can remember everything.”
“Well, do you remember how much they cost?”
“Like they don’t cost anything now?” he retorted, his eyes twinkling with disbelief.
We locked eyes in a moment of silence. He wanted to convince me, and I found myself wavering.
“We could start all over,” he said with a mischievous grin. “How about a whole new bunch?”
I shook my head vigorously.
“Absolutely not! Have you seen these stretch marks?” I sighed. “Those days are long gone. And just so we’re clear, I never even wanted the last pair of them! It was a lapse in judgment, an attempt to make you happy — when I see them, all I feel is regret!”
“You take that back!”
“I wish I could take them back!”
His expression turned from confusion to defeat. Was he shocked by my harshness?
I patted his shoulder, trying to soften my tone. “We can’t dwell in the past. We should cherish the good memories.”
“Well, I do have photos,” he sniffed.
“Oh, come on — are you crying? Again?”
“No, but sometimes, when I look at them now, I feel like crying.”
I took his hands in mine, hoping to convey my feelings. “It’s a monumental shift for both of us, but I’m happier now, don’t you see?”
“Monumental,” he echoed.
“Yes, I know, but it was time for a change.”
He focused on the laundry rather than me, making me feel like I was talking to a wall.
“Anyway, I’m way past 40,” I reminded him.
“So what?! I’ve seen women way older—”
I cut him off. “As a man, you might never understand how I feel right now — I’m done! And remember, you weren’t the one responsible for those tiny humans for years. Now, it’s not such a burden. It’s different, but better. They hug me instead of just clinging to me all day. I’m comfortable with how things are now. I know you’re not, but I’m relieved I can finally breathe again. I feel… I feel free!”
I cried.
He tried to smile, but I knew he just didn’t comprehend. I pressed on. “You’ve always had that freedom. I don’t need your judgment — I need your compassion and support.”
He looked at me with resignation.
Reaching into the laundry basket, he held up my enormous, beige granny panties.
He wiped a tear with them and sighed. “I guess they’re right. They really are only little once.”
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Summary
This piece reflects on the bittersweet nature of watching children grow up. The conversation between Jenna and her partner reveals their differing perspectives on past parenting challenges and the joys of seeing their kids transform. While Jenna finds freedom in their newfound independence, her partner longs for the days when they were little. Through humor and honesty, the couple navigates their feelings, ultimately realizing that the fleeting moments of childhood will always remain precious memories.