For anyone in our home who’s under 4 feet tall, there are four essential conditions that must be met for food to be considered edible:
- It must be candy.
- It must be a quesadilla without the tortilla (just cheese).
- It must be presented as a food for their chosen spirit animal of the day.
- Someone else must be eating it.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to our pets. They may meet the height requirement, but they aren’t interested in candy or cheese—they’re living their best lives as their own spirit animals.
Meal times have become lively affairs since the kids came along. At least a dozen times a week, we have little protesters waving their colorful signs, demanding more sweets and less of that pesky balanced nutrition. Sometimes, they even protest their own choices. “I want Cocoa Puffs for breakfast, but I can’t eat them because I had a dream the milk tasted funny.”
So, why can’t they just munch on those nine grapes and grilled cheese? Because they’re kids, and kids are experts at crafting excuses. Here are 22 reasons my kids refuse to eat:
- I need to save it for later.
Translation: “Later, I’ll ask for something completely different, like popcorn.” Interestingly, if I present the meal again when they ask for a snack, it often gets devoured.
- I don’t like food.
(While reaching for a bag of sour gummy worms.)
- I just want milk.
The plan? Drink so much milk that they feel too full to eat anything else.
- My breakfast is gross.
Sitting too long makes cereal soggy and unappetizing. Lesson learned: Eat cereal while it’s still crunchy.
- My dinner is gross.
Anything that isn’t candy is gross. And, when everything is drenched in ketchup, it loses its appeal.
- I don’t like carrots anymore.
Kids can decide they dislike vegetables at whim. A backup plan? Blend them into smoothies to sneak in the nutrients.
- I’m not hungry.
Toddlers seem to thrive on minimal sustenance yet still have boundless energy.
- I don’t care if I eat.
True, they often don’t care about much at all, including wearing clothes.
- I only like the mac and cheese with straight noodles.
Apparently, the bendy noodles taste like dirt.
- I just want to play outside.
When the only thing to eat out there is grass, this excuse can sometimes fly.
- I’m busy.
Busy? You’re 4!
- No, thanks.
This isn’t really an excuse; it’s just a declaration. They think I might forget I offered them food.
- I just want peanut butter.
A parenting win—don’t fight it.
- The bread is too white.
But the wheat is too brown. Bread options are a minefield.
- I don’t like this.
“This” means anything served, except for candy or yard grass.
- I’m only eating yogurt from now on.
Yogurt is nutritious, but the M&M’s mixed in? Not so much.
- Peas are super bad for you.
The only bad thing about peas is how they roll away when dropped.
- My toast is too crunchy.
If your toaster is relentless, you might find yourself explaining the difference between crunchy and non-crunchy bread.
- This isn’t chicken; it’s not dinosaur-shaped.
A quick science lesson can sometimes help here.
- My fruit is touching my sandwich.
Instead of instilling fear at mealtime, I opt to separate the offending items.
- You don’t have green beans on your plate.
I’ve earned my right to skip green beans, thank you very much!
- My cereal is cold.
Most of the time, they’ve let it sit so long it’s on the verge of becoming cheese!
Like naps and timeouts, I often wonder why my kids make such a fuss about eating. I love food, just as much as I love a good nap! They might be more tenacious than I ever was as a child. I’d stare at my plate until bedtime, but my kids have really upped the ante with their creativity.
While these excuses might not be the worst, it would certainly make life easier if they just ate their meals. After all, I’ve simplified our food options at home to the essentials. No surprises here—just a promise that a sour gummy worm might be waiting for them if they finish their meal!
For more insights on parenting and to explore the world of home insemination, check out our other blog posts on terms and conditions and resources on pregnancy.
Summary: In the world of parenting, children come up with some truly creative excuses to avoid eating their meals. From claiming they’re too busy playing outside to declaring that their food is “gross,” kids have a knack for avoiding nutritious options. However, with a little humor and understanding, parents can navigate these mealtime challenges more easily.