12 Insights Gained from 7 Years of Marriage

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Throughout my seven years of marriage, I have learned so much about myself, my partner, and what it truly means to share your life with someone. My husband, Mark, and I have grown together through life’s ups and downs, and our relationship has transformed in remarkable ways. Here are the key lessons I’ve picked up along the way:

  1. The Early Years Are the Toughest.
    Those initial years can be a real shock as you blend your lifestyles and discover quirks, like finding out your spouse prefers to drink straight from the milk jug. But as time passes, you learn to navigate these differences. Eventually, you’ll reach a point where you can communicate without words—although there are still moments when a gentle nudge is needed about the milk jug habits.
  2. Toilet Seat Arguments Aren’t Worth It.
    Save your energy for the things that really matter, like deciding who will tackle the next late-night diaper change.
  3. Invest in a Rug Doctor.
    Before having kids, we bought our Rug Doctor, and it quickly became indispensable. Whether it’s cleaning up spills or tackling crayon stains, it’s a lifesaver for maintaining our home and keeping our sanity intact.
  4. Makeup Isn’t Mandatory.
    While it’s nice to feel put together, during those sleepless nights, your spouse won’t care if you skip the makeup. When you’re both running on fumes, the last thing on anyone’s mind is your beauty routine.
  5. Kids Will Drain Your Energy.
    They consume your time and emotional resources, leaving little room for anything else. It’s essential to remember to connect with each other amidst the chaos, or you might find yourselves drifting apart over time.
  6. Communication Becomes Stronger.
    With every argument, you learn to express yourselves better. In a busy household, sometimes you have to raise your voice to be heard, but as you work together, your understanding deepens, leading to fewer conflicts.
  7. Maximize Your Limited Time Together.
    Even a quiet beer on the porch after the kids are asleep becomes precious. You come to cherish those moments of peace that were once taken for granted.
  8. Laundry Will Overwhelm You.
    It becomes a never-ending chore that can consume your life. You might even joke about burning it all just to get it done faster!
  9. Cooking Skills Aren’t Essential.
    Honestly, you don’t need to be a gourmet chef to keep everyone alive. Basic meals like peanut butter sandwiches or spaghetti with jarred sauce will do just fine.
  10. Enjoy Different Hobbies.
    In the beginning, I wanted us to do everything together. But as we had children, I craved some alone time. Having different interests is healthy and helps maintain your individuality.
  11. Everyone Needs a Break.
    I used to think I was the only one needing a break since my husband worked all day. It took me a while to realize that he worked hard too. Recognizing each other’s efforts and allowing downtime is crucial for a happy home.
  12. You Change as Individuals.
    You aren’t the same people you were on your wedding day, and that’s a good thing. If you’ve navigated your marriage well, you’ve both adopted new perspectives and skills that enrich your relationship.

The best marriage advice I’ve received is that some days you might look at your partner and wonder why you married them. It’s normal to question things, and sometimes you’ll think about what might have been. But if you’re both committed, your friendship will deepen and your partnership will thrive. There will be times of give and take, and through it all, you’ll find yourself saying, “We’ve got this!”

And while you may never get him to completely stop drinking from the milk jug, you can negotiate who does those late-night diaper changes!

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Summary

Marriage is a journey filled with growth and challenges. From learning to communicate better to navigating the chaos of parenthood, each lesson shapes your relationship. Embrace the changes and cherish the moments together, even when times get tough.

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