Today marks five years since my mother passed away. Each anniversary of her death has left me grappling with the bewildering nature of time. I’ve written about it in past years, reflecting on how grief and loss can deepen our understanding of motherhood. The swift changes in my children—my little boys growing facial hair and my teenage daughters blossoming into young women, complete with boyfriends—can be overwhelming. Each day I hear friends exclaim, “Where has the time gone?” It’s a sentiment we all share.
This year, however, I find myself in a different headspace. Yes, I’m still astonished by how quickly time flies (I still can’t believe I can now enjoy a drink with half of my children), but I’m learning to embrace the present. This shift in perspective fills me with hope and excitement for what’s to come, even on the more challenging days.
With milestones like graduations, new relationships, and life changes happening all around us, there’s so much joy to celebrate. I can’t help but think that if my mom were here and sensed any sadness regarding her grandchildren, she’d have a fit. While I miss her deeply, I find it hard to dwell in sadness for long because that’s just not the way she approached life.
Turning 50 this year has undoubtedly shifted my outlook. Fifty—can you believe it? Reflecting on my mom’s own 50th birthday party, which we threw in my tiny apartment, brings a smile to my face. It was filled with love, laughter, and perhaps too much beer for those who enjoyed it. She might have been frustrated that her grandbaby didn’t join the festivities, but she was surrounded by friends, just like I am today.
On these solemn anniversaries, I think of my mom’s friends who continue to feel her absence. I know the void they experience, and it makes me sad. Yet, just as she taught me, I’ve built a circle of friends who mean the world to me. They’re always just a call or a short drive away, solidifying the importance of connection and support in our lives.
I fondly recall reading Erma Bombeck during my childhood. One particular column, “No Greater Friend Than a Best Friend,” resonated so much that I shared it with my best friend, Lucy, for her birthday. Even after years apart, we’ve maintained our friendship through thick and thin.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have a friendship that has stood the test of time. I also cherish the beautiful memories my mom created for so many. And while I might jest about my kids not planning my 50th birthday, they were simply following my lead. I honor my mother’s memory every day, but today, I celebrate her in my heart.
So here’s to you, Mom. You’re on so many minds today.
Cheers and love.