As a photographer, I often switch out my camera lenses to capture the world from different angles. Some lenses provide a broad view, allowing me to see the bigger picture, while others zoom in tightly to reveal the intricate details of human expression. I have my everyday favorites, as well as those that intentionally distort reality for artistic effect.
This lens-switching is a metaphor for motherhood; we constantly adjust our perspectives based on circumstances. There are moments when we wear joyful lenses, and others when cynicism clouds our vision. Some perspectives even distort our reality.
A close friend of mine recently shared her struggles with her three boys, none of whom have been good sleepers. For the past five years, she has been battling sleepless nights. Her youngest, just under a year old, has a sweet nature but, like his siblings, resists bedtime.
In her next post, she shared a photo of little Max sleeping on her lap, captioning it, “Mom fail – 33,425,000.” But the truth is, she’s far from a failure. She’s one of the most dedicated mothers I know, investing countless hours into finding solutions. From sleep training to essential oils, she has tried everything, yet she feels weighed down by her perceived shortcomings.
Her feelings of failure stem from the lens of sleeplessness, which can cloud our judgment. Exhaustion can create a blinding glare that obscures our ability to see the full picture. It’s like being caught in a harsh spotlight that highlights our flaws while hiding the beauty around us. When we look through this narrow lens, we often miss the broader context and see only the imperfections.
Weight, relationships, and even the challenges of parenting can all serve as lenses that shape our perceptions. However, not all lenses allow us to see beauty; some focus too closely on the negatives.
So, if you’re feeling drained—really drained—I hope you have a supportive community around you. If you’re hurting, may you find healing in the company of those who care. And if joy finds you, may your friends celebrate with you rather than dim your happiness with their own clouds of perspective.
But if you’re struggling to find rest or support, remember that your current lens might be stuck. This doesn’t mean your view of life is accurate.
To my dear friend, you are an incredible mother. Your partner adores you, your kids love you, and I see you through a lens that captures your true essence—you are not a failure.
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In summary, motherhood is a journey of shifting perspectives. It’s crucial to recognize the various lenses through which we view our experiences. Finding support and understanding can help us see the beauty in our lives, even amidst the chaos.