I have a variety of names — my first name, middle name, last name, and even some nicknames. I typically respond to all of them, whether it’s “Ma’am,” “Miss,” or even “Hey You.” However, if you’re not my child, kindly refrain from calling me “Mom.”
Before my partner and I became parents, I was certain that I didn’t want to be addressed as “Mom” by anyone other than my kids. It made my skin crawl when the nurses referred to me as “Mom” instead of taking just a moment to check my chart for my actual name.
I find it irritating when strangers inquire, “Is Mommy having a party tonight?” as they eye the wine in my cart. I even prefer that my partner doesn’t call me “Mom” when our kids are around. While I’ve grown accustomed to hearing “Mom” from various professionals like our pediatrician and eye doctor, that doesn’t mean I enjoy it.
Motherhood is undeniably a unique and cherished role. Some might argue it’s so special that it deserves frequent reminders, but I believe that because it’s such a sacred title, it should be reserved solely for my children. It’s a private label — one that marks my relationship with them. I’ve treasured the transition from being called “Mama” to “Mommy” and now “Mom.”
Moreover, society seems to have this strange habit of both glorifying and trivializing motherhood. We celebrate mothers while simultaneously using terms like “mom” and “mommy” in relation to various roles and activities. For instance, mother writers are labeled as “mommy bloggers,” and social events are dubbed “moms’ nights out.”
Why do we insist on prefixing everything with “mom”? Does it really set it apart? For some, the “Mom” label is a comforting reminder of their vital role. However, I find that my identity as a woman exists independently of being a mother, and I cherish any reminders of who I was before motherhood took over.
As mothers, we embody many traits: caregivers, nurturers, healers, teachers, and leaders. These qualities are intrinsic to our being, just like our love for certain hobbies or preferences, such as college football or a fine red wine. The maternal aspect of our lives doesn’t overshadow our other identities; they harmoniously coexist.
Yes, we are “Mom” to our little ones, and for many, this is one of the most beautiful roles we will ever embrace. Motherhood enriches us and shapes our identities. Yet, we also hold other significant roles — as friends, partners, daughters, and independent women — that predate our parenting journey and deserve recognition, too.
So, unless you’re my child, please don’t refer to me as “Mom.”
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Summary:
In this piece, Taylor Rivers discusses the importance of the title “Mom” and why it should be reserved exclusively for her children. She explores the societal tendency to label mothers with qualifiers that can feel both glorifying and trivializing. While embracing her role as a mother, she emphasizes the importance of maintaining her identity beyond motherhood.