Updated: Aug. 19, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 19, 2016
I’m coming out of a particularly tough chapter in my life. For the past six months, I battled the heavy shadows of depression, but now I’m finally emerging from the storm into the warmth of the sun. It’s a relief, and I’m genuinely grateful for this progress.
However, during that challenging period, I also gained some weight—around 30 pounds. I didn’t realize how much until I stepped on the scale recently. Sure, I noticed my jeans were a larger size, but I never connected that to such a significant weight increase.
While it’s disheartening to see the scale reflect such a change, I recognize that weight fluctuations can happen when you’re grappling with mental health struggles. Physical well-being is vital, but you must prioritize mental health first. My focus on diet and exercise took a backseat while I navigated my anxiety and depression. Although this sacrifice wasn’t ideal for my physical health, it was a necessary choice; I would rather carry extra weight than lose my desire to enjoy life.
The silver lining is that I’m now in a better place and ready to reclaim my physical health. Having been a yo-yo dieter for years, I know how to shed the weight, even if it comes off more slowly than it did in my younger days. I understand what foods to choose, what to avoid, and how to incorporate exercise into my routine. I have the tools I need to succeed, and I’m determined to return to my pre-depression weight eventually.
But that’s a journey for another day. I don’t know how long it will take—maybe a few months or even a couple of years. The timeline is uncertain because getting your body back isn’t an exact science. So, while I work on shedding the pounds, I must learn something I’ve always found challenging:
I have to embrace my body just as it is.
I must learn to appreciate my body now—in this moment—with its curves, rolls, and softness.
This acceptance hasn’t always been my strong suit. I’ve had moments in life when I felt good about my body—usually when I was at a healthier weight and taking care of myself. I loved my body during those times; it was easy to do so when my clothes fit well and I felt energetic.
Now, though, I’m stepping into a new phase where I aim to love my body, even if it’s not where I want it to be. My increased weight doesn’t change who I am or how I parent. My arms may have a bit more wiggle, but they are still capable of lifting my son when he tumbles. My thighs may touch more, but they still support my daughter as she giggles and bounces in my lap. My belly might be softer, but it remains a cozy spot for my kids to curl up after a long day.
My body does not define me. I refuse to let it dictate my happiness or self-worth. I won’t scrutinize every inch after stepping out of the shower or cringe at my reflection. I won’t let the extra weight bring me down.
Instead, I will view my body as a work in progress. It may never be perfect, but it will always be a part of me. Like I’ve learned to embrace my other imperfections—my impatience, my struggles with sleep—I will learn to love my body too.
For more insights on body positivity and self-acceptance, check out this blog post. And for those looking for resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Kindbody offers fantastic information. If you’re considering ways to start a family, Make a Mom can guide you with their expertise on home insemination kits.
Summary:
In this reflective piece, Sarah Matthews shares her journey of gaining 30 pounds while overcoming depression. She emphasizes the importance of mental health and the need to accept and love one’s body, even during challenging times. With determination to regain her physical health, she highlights the significance of recognizing that one’s worth is not defined by weight, and she encourages readers to embrace their bodies as they are.