Parenting Insights
They May Be Pampered, But My Kids Aren’t Rude
by Jessica Harper
Updated: Aug. 18, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 18, 2023
Sometimes my children might disagree, but I consider myself a pretty easygoing parent. We have our guidelines, which I generally enforce — well, most of the time. However, I also make a point to listen to their perspectives. If they present a solid argument, I’m willing to flex the rules a bit.
For instance, if my 9-year-old asks me nicely to pick up his clothes because he’s feeling too exhausted, I’ll do it. And when my younger son, with his adorable new haircut, sweetly compliments my dress, I might just hand him a lollipop even if it’s not “dessert time.” Yes, I admit it: I have pampered kids.
I also spoil them with material things. While my budget doesn’t allow for extravagant purchases, they still enjoy toys, video games, and the occasional ice cream treat. Honestly, any extra cash we have typically goes towards them. They are my world, and I believe they should feel that way as kids.
After all, they are still children. They can throw tantrums over the tiniest things, often because they haven’t yet mastered impulse control. That part of their brain is still developing, so I strive to be patient. I recognize the importance of teaching them structure while also empathizing with their feelings. It’s definitely a tricky balance.
Plus, they’re just so irresistibly cute, and I want to indulge them while they’re little. So when my 3-year-old asks me to lie down with him for his entire nap, I can’t refuse. And if my 9-year-old has a nightmare, I let him sleep in my room — not just that night, but for a week or two after. Why not?
Maybe I’m a softy at times. But one thing I won’t compromise on is teaching my kids to be kind and respectful. It’s not just about manners; understanding kindness and respect is essential.
How I Nurture Kindness and Respect
So how do I nurture these qualities? First and foremost, we discuss feelings in our home — constantly. My kids might be tired of the topic, but emotions are a big deal here. If they’re acting out — whether they refuse to stop playing their games, hit each other, or turn down the lunch they asked for — I need to understand what’s behind their behavior.
Sometimes they’re unable to articulate their feelings in the moment, and yes, they need discipline if things spiral out of control. However, we don’t punish them for experiencing emotions. Once they collect themselves, they can usually express what’s bothering them.
By respecting their feelings, I’m teaching them kindness, love, and empathy. In turn, they’ve become good listeners — not just to me, but to their teachers and friends. How I treat them sets the standard for how they will treat others. If that means I come off as indulgent or overly soft, so be it.
Ultimately, my goal is for my children to feel loved, secure, and even more loved. I truly believe that showering them with unconditional love will help them share it with others as they grow.
I’m not perfect, just navigating this parenting journey as best as I can. Yet, I can honestly say that whatever I’m doing — even if it includes a bit of spoiling — seems effective. My kids are good-natured, friendly, and diligent students. One day, they will mature into respectful men who value kindness above all else.
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Summary
The article discusses a lenient parenting style, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding feelings in children. The author shares personal anecdotes about their parenting approach, focusing on love, respect, and teaching kindness. They believe that nurturing their children’s emotional well-being will lead to them growing up as respectful individuals.