I can hardly believe my son is now 13 years old. For the past decade, I’ve tried to steer clear of his room—especially when it comes to cleaning. Admittedly, I’m not the most organized person, and house cleaning is far from my favorite pastime. Typically, I just drop a laundry basket outside his door and hope he’ll take it from there. But every now and then, the situation escalates, and I have to brave the chaos like a detective on a mission. Here’s what goes through my mind:
- What is that overwhelming odor wafting through the air?
- Can’t he notice this smell?
- Did he somehow start a Funyuns factory in here?
- Is this a sign that he’s lost his sense of smell?
- Do we even own nose clips or any type of protective gear?
- Why does he have two cans of body spray?
- Does he truly believe he can mask the smell instead of showering?
- Is there a Funyun-scented body spray now?
- What’s that stain on his bed sheets?
- Why did I pick navy blue sheets for a teenage boy?
- Is that white substance on the sheets?
- Could it possibly be acne cream?
- Or yogurt, maybe?
- Should I even consider sniffing it?
- Have I completely lost my sanity?
- Oh thank goodness, it’s actually yogurt.
- How old is that green fuzzy yogurt container?
- Should I venture under his bed to clean?
- What if I discover something I don’t want to see?
- Does he just Google anything he wants to find?
- Have I checked the parental control app on his phone recently?
- How many times have I reminded him not to leave wet towels on the floor?
- Why are there 12 half-empty cups in this room?
- Didn’t he have a pet gecko in here at some point?
- Did I just step on something gross?
- Where on Earth is that gecko?
- Wait, what’s that white powdery substance?
- Is that a drug or just jock-itch powder?
- Did his dad actually buy him jock-itch powder?
- When did my little boy start dealing with that?
- Oh, is that his old blankie?
- Does my teenage son still secretly cuddle with it?
- Should I dare to sniff the blankie?
- Will it make me want to never smell anything in this room again?
- Will I remember to avoid sniffing anything in here next time?
- Why is the shirt I just bought him hanging from the ceiling fan?
- And how did this nearly empty Gatorade bottle turn into a science experiment?
- Am I really going to miss all this mess when he’s gone?
- Yes, I think I will.
Cleaning his room often feels like an adventure full of surprises—both delightful and daunting. It’s a strange mix of nostalgia, disbelief, and sometimes, a little horror!
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