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How to Be an Ally to the Moms in Your Life
by Jamie Thompson
Updated: Aug. 17, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 17, 2023
Why do moms need friends? After all, they have kids, partners, and the whole world seemingly places them on a pedestal. But the truth is, there are many misconceptions about motherhood and parenting. Moms are still human, with their own feelings and needs. Sometimes, they just need a friend to lean on. Are you ready to step up? Here are some thoughtful ways to support the moms in your circle:
Check in on Your Mom Friends
Once a mom has a child, it often feels like everything revolves around the kids. While that’s understandable, every now and then, a mom appreciates hearing, “How are you?” Reach out with a call or a message, and skip the kid-centric conversation. Instead, invite her out for a glass of wine or a movie. Moms are individuals too, and they deserve that reminder.
Offer Specific Help
It took me quite a while to realize that I couldn’t do this parenting thing all on my own. I’m grateful for my support system, but I’ve learned how to ask for help. Sometimes, though, I’m not sure what’s okay to ask. If you want to offer assistance, be clear about it. For instance, “I’d love to babysit so you can have a date night,” can remove the stress of whether she can ask you for a favor.
Wait for Her to Ask for Advice
I’ve been tempted to offer advice more times than I can count, but I’ve learned to hold back. Often, I end up with more information that changes the context of the situation. Trust that most moms have things under control, even if it doesn’t look that way. If she needs help, she’ll reach out.
Acknowledge Her Efforts
In today’s world, it’s easier than ever to remind a mom friend that she’s doing a fantastic job. When she shares a photo of her child achieving something, let her know how great she is for raising such a wonderful kid. If a playdate goes well, thank her for her hard work in nurturing kindness and politeness in her child. Kids don’t just turn out amazing on their own; they need great parents behind them.
Compliment Her Parenting Skills in Real Time
I vividly remember my first outing with my newborn. We went to the store, and she started crying. A fellow mom reassured me, “You’re doing fine. It gets easier.” That moment meant the world. If you see a mom handling a tantrum or a moody teenager, offer her a compliment. It can make all the difference.
Avoid Judging
Believe me, moms are already doing enough self-judging. Every day brings questions about their decisions. Instead of critiquing, offer positivity or simply ask how you can support her.
Show Compassion
When I first became a mom, I was shocked by the exhaustion. Balancing work and home life left me drained. If a mom isn’t available to chat or declines an invitation, be understanding. Everyone has their limits.
For more insights into navigating motherhood and support, check out this insightful post here. If you’re interested in the topic of home insemination, Make a Mom offers great products and resources. Additionally, this NHS resource provides valuable information about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Supporting moms in your life requires thoughtfulness and empathy. By checking in, offering specific help, waiting for advice requests, acknowledging their efforts, and showing compassion, you can be a true ally in their parenting journey.