When my partner and I first started dating, we were the epitome of a perfect couple. We couldn’t stand being apart and found joy in even the simplest tasks; grocery shopping together felt like an adventure, and we’d sit side by side while tackling bills. We shared workouts, binge-watched the same shows, and explored our new city after college. Our friends probably rolled their eyes at our relentless cuteness—seriously, we were a bit over the top.
The honeymoon phase continued beautifully after we tied the knot. Cooking gourmet meals together and relaxing on our front porch in rocking chairs, we often fantasized about the sound of tiny feet running across our newly refinished hardwood floors. We were blissfully happy, in love, and still adorably annoying.
When our first child arrived, we worked hard to maintain that magic, but let’s be real—there’s nothing romantic about pumping breast milk at the kitchen table while your partner enjoys breakfast nearby. After several years of marriage, it became evident that if we were committed to this journey together, I’d have to accept his bathroom habits, and he’d need to understand that watching me get dressed for workouts wouldn’t exactly spark his passion.
Now, after 17 years of marriage, romance has evolved into something different. While we may not have candlelit dinners every night, we cherish our connection, which now includes me binge-watching my favorite shows while he snores next to me. Without sugar-coating it, the honeymoon is definitely over. Here are some signs that might indicate the same for your relationship:
- The last time you went out on New Year’s Eve, it was Y2K.
- You’ve given up on impressing his mother.
- Your Christmas tree is filled with gifts you bought yourself—and you’re genuinely excited about those fleece leggings.
- A new water heater is now a romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day.
- Two words: courtesy flushes.
- You’ve gone to bed angry once or twice since the wedding—okay, maybe 562 times.
- You no longer giggle when someone calls you “Mrs.”
- You’ve considered hosting a “Replace the Broken Wedding Appliances” shower for your 10th anniversary.
- Forget flowers; the way to your heart is your partner emptying the dishwasher without being asked.
- “I’ll handle bedtime” is your new form of foreplay.
- You both roll your eyes at young couples kissing in public.
- You haven’t attended a wedding in 15 years.
- “Dinner and a movie” has transformed into Netflix and takeout.
- You buy your underwear at Costco and couldn’t care less.
- Love notes on the bathroom mirror have been swapped for “Bring home milk or don’t come home” texts.
- When you call someone “Pooh Bear,” it’s actually about a stuffed animal.
- Your partner no longer jokes about extra people joining you in bed.
- “Clothing optional days” now apply solely to your toddler.
- You come back from your run with just one coffee from Starbucks.
- He no longer pretends to notice when you get highlights or a new outfit.
- He trims his nose hairs while you clip your toenails, and neither of you finds it odd.
- You give him the side-eye when he tries to join you in the shower—really, it’s the only place I can escape the kids’ whining!
- The only time you light candles is during a power outage or when he’s cleared out the bathroom.
I’ll take practical gestures over grand romantic ones any day. While I do miss the surprise flowers once in a while, I appreciate the everyday moments that reflect real love. He’s seen all my flaws—yet he still gives me those looks more often than I can count, even when I’m in those comfy leggings he gifted me for Christmas.
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Summary
The blissful honeymoon phase of a relationship can shift over time, leading to a more realistic, albeit different, connection. While grand romantic gestures may fade, everyday acts of love and shared experiences create a deep bond that can be just as fulfilling.