Back-to-school shopping has always been a joy for me and my daughter, Lily. She shares my passion for fashion, and we often encourage each other (perhaps a bit too much) to indulge in all things stylish. Our annual shopping spree kicks off with a family dinner, usually Chinese food, followed by a shopping marathon that covers every store within a 20-mile radius. We start planning in June; it’s a highlight of our summer, and I hope this tradition continues long after she graduates.
As Lily transitions into her tween years, I’ve noticed her developing a unique style that often diverges from my preferences. When I suggest outfits I find appealing, I often hear her responses like, “That looks like a private school uniform—hello, I’m in public school!” or “Meh, I liked that four years ago, Mom.” She gravitates towards vibrant patterns and fitted clothing, while I tend to lean towards a more subdued style. She prefers jeans that hug her figure and often layers shorts over leggings with bold graphic tees. Oversized clothing is simply not her thing.
I make it a point to ensure that her clothing choices aren’t too tight because I want her to feel comfortable and wear them for more than just a month. However, the moment I see her face as she looks in the mirror, I realize that it’s crucial for her to feel good about what she wears. She has her own sense of style and wants to express herself, and I fully support that.
Reflecting on my own experiences at 16, I recall a moment that shaped my understanding of self-expression. While working at a grocery store, I wore cutoff shorts on my break, and a woman passing by gave me a disapproving glance. She later called the store to complain about my outfit. My boss defended me, but I couldn’t help but wonder why my clothing choices bothered her so much. I wore those shorts because they made me feel good about myself, even if I didn’t love every aspect of my body.
I want Lily to feel empowered when faced with similar situations. I want her to dress for herself without worrying about others’ opinions. It’s not her responsibility to prevent anyone from misinterpreting her outfit choices or to dress modestly for the comfort of others. I want her to embrace her body and know it belongs to her alone.
I’ll make sure she understands that her clothing is not an invitation for inappropriate comments, unwanted touches, or anyone suggesting she should change. People may judge her based on her clothes, but she is never responsible for their actions. Instead, it’s her right to express herself through her style and to love herself unapologetically.
Ultimately, her autonomy over her body and clothing choices is vital for her self-esteem. She needs to feel comfortable and confident, knowing that her attire doesn’t diminish her control over her own body. It’s my role to support her, regardless of whether her clothing choices align with my tastes. If you’re interested in learning more about related topics, check out this post on home insemination, and for additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Womens Health.
In summary, allowing my daughter to choose her clothing is not just about fashion; it’s a vital lesson in bodily autonomy. By supporting her choices, I’m helping her build confidence and self-love, essential traits for navigating the world.