Back in December, I made the decision to stop taking my anxiety and depression medication. This choice was influenced by a change in my insurance and doctor, along with a misplaced sense of confidence in my ability to manage life. When I first started taking medication, I was in a pretty dark place, as I explained to my doctor. I felt constantly on edge, overwhelmed by sadness, and struggling to sleep. I knew I needed support.
If I had been single or perhaps just married, I might have tried to “tough it out.” However, I had a 2-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter who needed a mother who was fully present. They deserved a mom who wasn’t lost in her own thoughts or paralyzed by unfounded fears. They needed the best version of me, and what I could offer while unmedicated simply wasn’t enough.
After a year on medication, I felt like I was making progress. Life seemed more manageable, and I believed I could be the mom my kids needed, the friend my loved ones deserved, and the wife my husband wanted—all without the aid of medication. I thought I was ready to navigate life on my own.
I was mistaken.
For five months, I put in a valiant effort to be the person my family needed. I wanted to see the world clearly, without the fog of anxiety and depression clouding my vision. While I had some better days and small victories, the months dragged on, and I found myself being pulled under the relentless waves of my mental struggles again. I realized I couldn’t just push through—I needed medication once more.
This realization made me feel like a failure. I thought there must be something inherently wrong with me, as if I should have just tried harder, gotten more rest, or made different choices to be okay. I felt weak and hopeless, convinced I would never be the person my loved ones needed.
However, after several weeks back on my medication, I can confidently say that those negative thoughts are completely unfounded. The only “problem” I face is that my mental health doesn’t align with societal norms. My brain functions differently, leading to the anxiety and depression I experience, but that’s just part of who I am. Just as I have brown hair and green eyes, I also live with mental health challenges—and that’s perfectly okay.
With so many individuals feeling stigmatized for being on medication, I want to emphasize that my medication helps me be a better mom. It stabilizes my emotions, allowing me to see my children clearly instead of through a lens of worry. I can engage with them fully, teach them, and show them love without being consumed by anxiety. I no longer snap at them over trivial matters because I feel grounded. I can embrace both the joyful and challenging moments, knowing I’m the best mom I can be.
I wouldn’t wish anxiety or depression on anyone; they are tough to deal with and can be devastating. But if you are experiencing these feelings, it’s crucial to seek help. Yes, there may be judgment from others or disappointment, but their opinions don’t matter. What truly counts is that mental health medication can help you become the person you aspire to be. My medication is a true blessing for me and my family, and I’ll continue using it as long as necessary to be my best self.
My kids deserve it. I deserve it. And so do you.
If you’re interested in learning more about related topics, check out this insightful post on intracervical insemination. For more information on home insemination resources, visit Make a Mom. Additionally, Healthline offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, taking care of your mental health is not just about you; it’s about being the best parent you can be. Medication can play a pivotal role in this journey, allowing you to engage fully with your life and loved ones.