As I navigate my 40s, I find myself both overwhelmed and inspired by the many ways women like me are shedding the weight of societal expectations. Don’t get me wrong; I’m proud to be among those who have left behind the insecurities of our younger years. The beauty of being in our 40s is that we’ve embraced who we are, what drives us, and what frustrates us. We stand tall in our choices as parents and feel equipped to tackle whatever life throws our way.
We’ve learned to disregard the opinions of others about our comfy yoga pants or our favorite worn-in jeans, our sporadic attendance at school functions, and our choice to wear (or not wear) makeup. We’ve waved goodbye to toxic friendships that once drained us, and we honor our bodies post-baby, whether they show signs of motherhood or reflect hours spent in the gym.
So, what’s next? Letting go of the unnecessary is refreshing. For me, it has opened up valuable time and emotional space to focus on what truly matters. Here’s where I’m dedicating my energy moving forward.
Making a Difference
I know it sounds cliché, but I genuinely believe in making the world a better place. In my earlier years, I had lofty dreams of changing the world. I volunteered and raised funds, convinced that the powers that be would tackle societal issues effectively. Then I became a mom to three daughters, and issues like education, healthcare, and gender equality became deeply personal. As my girls grow, I worry about the world they will inherit. I’m now more motivated than ever to advocate against issues like gun violence and racism. I’m ready to be loud and proud about my beliefs, regardless of who might disagree.
Caring for My Body
For years, I obsessed over my body’s shape and limitations, a common preoccupation for many of us. But in my 40s, I’ve shifted my focus from appearance to functionality. Being healthy has become my priority—forget the size on the tag. Taking care of myself through sleep, exercise, and nutrition is what will sustain me in the long run. And yes, I still enjoy my cocktails and chocolate because I’ve learned to balance indulgence with self-care. Plus, I genuinely don’t care if I gain a few pounds here and there.
Nurturing My Relationships
I’m actively working on identifying and releasing relationships that no longer serve me. If that means my circle shrinks to a few close friends, so be it. However, I’m also more committed to nurturing the relationships that truly matter, especially as my oldest daughter enters high school. I want to foster a strong connection with her as well as with my other daughters. And as my husband and I prepare for the next chapter of our lives together, I recognize that marriage is always a work in progress, and I’m dedicated to making it better.
Taking Charge of My Life
As my kids become more independent, I’m shifting my focus to my own needs and desires. It’s time to clear out obligations that no longer fulfill me and make choices that align with my personal goals. Whether it’s returning to work full-time or diving deep into surfing, I’m taking stock and prioritizing what truly inspires me.
Embracing My Authentic Self
For too long, I denied parts of myself that I deemed unacceptable or shameful. What a waste of time that was! We all have flaws and make mistakes, but we also possess strengths. I’m anxious, passionate about certain topics, and require my alone time. In my 40s, I’m owning these traits. Sharing them with my loved ones has shown me that they accept me just as I am. Realizing that I no longer care about certain people or situations has been liberating. It’s exciting to define what matters to me and to actively pursue it.
So, what about you? How will you choose to spend your remaining cares?
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Summary:
In my 40s, I’m embracing a newfound sense of freedom from societal expectations while actively caring about the issues that matter most. From advocating for a better world to focusing on my health and nurturing meaningful relationships, I’m prioritizing what truly matters in my life. As I learn to accept myself and let go of what no longer serves me, I’m excited to see where this journey takes me.