Parenting
My Kids Are Growing Up, But Sleepless Nights Still Persist
by Emma Lawson
Updated: Aug. 12, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 12, 2016
When my daughter was born, I got an unexpected crash course in parenthood. Sore nipples, diaper disasters, and an infant who seemed to nurse around the clock made it clear that I was in way over my head. Nights were spent pacing the nursery, bouncing a wailing newborn while I looked like a zombie in my yoga pants. Six months into this parenting role, I was completely drained. Sleep felt like a distant dream, and I was pretty sure I’d never catch a break.
Luckily, I had supportive friends who had survived the challenging early years. They shared wisdom about nap schedules and sleep routines, and even offered to babysit so I could sneak in a few moments of rest. They’d hold my daughter and breathe in that sweet newborn scent, offering reassuring smiles. “Don’t worry,” they said. “It gets so much easier as they get older. You’ll sleep again when she’s a bit older.” Desperate for any glimmer of hope, I took their word for it.
In hindsight, I suspect my disheveled appearance and wild eyes may have prompted my friends to sugarcoat the truth. Little did I know, their knowing looks were code for, “She has no clue what awaits her when her kids become teens.”
Fast forward to today, and my kids are now teenagers. Yes, I’ve escaped the late-night diaper changes and midnight feedings, but after 13 long years, I’m still wide awake at night. In fact, it might be even more challenging than those exhausting infant days.
What parents don’t tell you about raising teens is that they have vibrant social lives—ones that typically unfold after dark. In the blink of an eye, my teenagers have plans that often keep them out much later than I’d prefer, especially when I thought those years of sleepless nights were behind me. Instead of catching up on the books I was promised I’d have time to read, I find myself propped up on the couch, fighting to keep my eyes open as I wait for curfew. I often doze off, only to wake up to check the clock, listening for the sound of my son’s key turning in the door. And of course, he’s not ready to sleep right away because, as every parent of a teenage boy knows, they’re perpetually hungry. I watch him devour a sandwich while the seconds tick away, far past what I consider a sensible bedtime.
If I have to pick him up from a late-night event, my sleep is delayed further as I drive to fetch him. You can find me in my pajamas, sitting in a dark car, waiting for my social butterfly son to emerge. I share silent camaraderie with other moms in the parking lot, united in our sleep-deprived state. No one warned me I’d be spending my weekends in darkened lots, annoyed and cranky, waiting for my child to finish having the time of his life on a Friday night. I need my beauty sleep!
As if waiting up for my teen isn’t enough, the worry that comes with parenting adolescents is a full-time job. When they were little, I listened to the baby monitor for sounds of distress or cries of hunger. Now, I lie awake fretting that they might experiment with alcohol or relationships when I’m not home. I toss and turn, questioning if we’ve instilled enough wisdom in them to steer clear of risky situations, like handling firearms at a party. I hope they’ll call me for a ride if they ever find themselves in a tough spot. The anxiety is real, especially when they’re away at sleepovers—I can’t shake the worry that my tween is watching inappropriate movies or my teen is playing spin the bottle. (Kids still play that, right?)
While my kids may be sleeping soundly, I find myself more restless than when they were infants. I’m coming to terms with the fact that soon they’ll be off to college, living away from home, and I will have to learn to sleep without knowing they’re tucked safely in their beds. I can’t even fathom how I’ll manage to sleep when they’re in a dorm room states away. Just thinking about the college years is exhausting!
As I watch them grow, I often reminisce about those cribs—those soft, safe spaces where I could place them for the night. I always knew they’d be right there when I opened my eyes. Teens, however, can’t be contained. I’ll admit, I often find myself lying in bed, straining to hear if my son and his friends are sneaking out during sleepovers. Honestly, wouldn’t baby monitors for teens be a fantastic idea?
So, to all the new moms out there who are feeling the weight of exhaustion, here’s the truth: Enjoy the sleep while you can, because the sleepless nights with teens are a whole new level of tiring.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, you can check out this post on Intracervical Insemination. If you’re looking to boost fertility, Make a Mom is a trusted source. Also, for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Cleveland Clinic’s podcast is worth a listen.
In summary, teenage years bring their own set of sleepless nights filled with worries and late-night waits, proving that parenting is a journey that never truly allows for rest.