The jokes about mothers-in-law are everywhere, and while I might chuckle or nod along, discussions about them often leave me feeling uneasy. As you might be aware, you left this world unexpectedly when your eldest child, my partner, was just five years old. Though he has grown into a remarkable man, the absence of you lingers deeply in his heart, affecting every aspect of his life—including our life together.
Every now and then, I find myself feeling a flicker of gratitude when I see a mother overly involved in her adult son’s life. It makes me appreciate that I have him all to myself, without having to share him with another woman aside from our daughter. However, those moments are swiftly followed by guilt. More often than not, I reflect on how sad it is that you and your son missed out on a lifetime of memories together.
I think about you quite frequently. Being your son’s wife feels like carrying an extra weight, knowing that he grew up in a household of men, which left him a bit rough around the edges. He bears a scar from the loss of his mother that may never fully heal, and I feel a responsibility to fill the void of tenderness that has long been absent in his life. Although I strive to provide him love and support, I know that the wounds from losing a mother’s affection can never truly be healed.
My heart aches for you even more now that I have children of my own. I can’t bear the thought of being taken from them suddenly. They depend on me so much. They cry if I’m not there to read them a bedtime story or tuck them in. The idea of not being there for them during those life milestones is unfathomable.
I’ve already had one more year with my oldest than you had with your son, and I treasure every second. I can’t imagine missing out on their joys and challenges as they grow.
Your son’s grief is most evident when he talks to our children about you. He tries to explain your absence in a calm manner, but I can see the sorrow bubbling beneath the surface. We’ve visited your grave together, and while the kids are respectful at first, they quickly become distracted by their surroundings. He often reminds them how fortunate they are to have me, but that acknowledgment carries a heavy cost. They express a desire to meet you, and I know we both wish that could happen.
Please forgive me for those fleeting moments when I feel relieved about not having to navigate a traditional mother-in-law dynamic. Who knows? We might have shared a wonderful bond. But more than that, I’m sorry for everything you’ve missed. Sure, there are times when I want to escape to a quiet space with a glass of wine while the kids run wild, but there are also incredible moments filled with laughter, creativity, and love. You miss out on so much—the highs and the lows. I know you would have cherished every part of it.
Above all, thank you for helping me understand the vital role a mother plays in her children’s lives. Your love and lessons live on through your son and our children. Thank you for laying the foundation for the life we are building together. You set him on the path that eventually led to me, and for that, I will always be grateful.
For more insights into parenting and home insemination, you can explore other articles on our blog, where we discuss various aspects of family life.