Parenting
How to Embrace Your Flaws and Still Raise an Amazing Kid
by Jamie Carter
Updated: Dec. 2, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 8, 2016
A heartfelt thank you to our younger selves for diving headfirst into parenthood without a safety net—having a child we couldn’t afford and weren’t quite ready for, yet somehow raising a truly remarkable individual. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, this is our one shining achievement.
Picture us as two lost souls navigating the tumultuous waters of life. How did we manage to mold our broken beginnings into something whole? You, with your tumultuous upbringing, and me, a former teen mom who placed her first child for adoption—how did we pull this off? Over the last 15 years, we’ve somehow avoided drowning our child in our own chaos.
Did she come equipped with some kind of genetic force field that shields her from our family’s quirks and challenges?
Perhaps it’s thanks to the influence of shows like Roseanne. We grew up watching it, which gave us a balanced outlook on life: embrace the “good people” way, share a laugh, don’t take parenting too seriously, and realize that bills won’t always be paid on time—plus, Halloween is just the best.
Honestly, I can’t fathom why our child isn’t more messed up, considering we’ve apparently broken every parenting rule in the book. I didn’t breastfeed, I’ve never intentionally bought organic products, and we were just kids ourselves at 21 when she was born. We’re still renting, and this week alone, she’s spent countless hours on YouTube. We’ve spent years struggling financially, haven’t tied the knot after 15 years, and her sleep schedule has been set since she was 6 months old. We didn’t co-sleep or use fancy carriers—oh, the horror, we even used disposable diapers!
The only real issue? She hasn’t napped since she was 3, and believe me, the Carters value their naps.
Parenting today feels like an intense academic course—filled with high-stakes tests where you fill in the right answers, only to find your efforts graded by an impersonal computer. And at the end of it all, you’re left feeling drained, questioning if it was even worth it. Total nonsense.
If only I could hop into a time machine and share some wisdom with my younger self: Relax, it’s all going to turn out fine. You’ll weather storms like unemployment, relocations, and others’ judgments. Pay more attention to your daughter; keep everything else the same. And by the way, appreciate your body while you can!
Then, I’d travel back to the present and carry on.
There’s no perfect age to start a family, no ideal income, no flawless circumstances, and definitely no magical gluten-free treats. What matters is the best you can offer. Keep it real with your child. Let them know, “Hey kiddo, we’re not perfect, but we love you, and that should be enough.” We might not always have the latest gadgets, show up exactly when needed, or even have a fully functioning car, but we promise to make you laugh, pass on our great taste, and always advocate for you.
And you have to keep showing up, no matter what. You’ll stumble and struggle just as much as you succeed, but your presence is what counts. Every family faces challenges, but you can choose to see them as tragedies or comedies. Sometimes you need to feel completely overwhelmed before you can stand tall and confident.
In many ways, two broken pieces can create a beautiful whole. We’ve shared a lot of joy, and like Ferris Bueller, I often pause to reflect on how it feels like we’ve done it all wrong, yet somehow, it all seems to fit together.
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Summary
This article reflects on the journey of parenting despite imperfections, emphasizing love, laughter, and resilience. It discusses the realization that there’s no perfect path to parenthood and encourages keeping it real with children while navigating life’s ups and downs.