It’s becoming more common lately. People seem to think my little girl is too old to be in diapers, as if she should somehow understand age or respond to commands from strangers.
I remember my cousin who had to carry his birth certificate to every youth soccer match, and still faced scrutiny for being too big. Then there was his brother, who was ridiculed while trick-or-treating at twelve, towering over his peers.
My partner has had his share of encounters with the police, often reminding officers of his size, knowing that interactions can be tense for tall Black men.
So when a stranger tells my daughter that “big girls don’t cry,” I want you to understand that it’s not helpful. Sure, she may seem too old to be upset over a broken crayon at the store, but she’s just two years old.
She still gets anxious at night, afraid of the dark and being alone. When she’s hurt or feeling unwell, she only wants her mama. Even during her little adventures, sometimes she needs a hand to hold — for comfort and support. When she has a nightmare, her age doesn’t matter. When she misses her dad, her “big-girl” attitude won’t fix that.
Please don’t tell my daughter to suppress her tears when she feels scared or uncertain. Don’t tease her about her appetite or suggest she’s too old for anything, especially when I encourage her to find wonder in the world. And certainly don’t rush her to grow up — it will happen quickly enough, and she’ll always be my little girl.
Children deserve the time and space to grow and play. They need both structure and freedom. They require love and protection, and I will provide both for her.
I refuse to let my daughter be hurried through her enchanting years of fairies and dinosaurs; I won’t let her skip those evening strolls with us or the joy of welcoming new kittens. She will savor late nights with hot chocolate while we wait for lunar eclipses and have fun splashing in puddles. For years, she’ll wake up to magical surprises on holidays and find hidden eggs in the garden. She will be little, and we will be thankful, as many children don’t get to experience that joy.
So, for the sake of all those kids — from the towering ones on the sports teams to the two-year-olds in diapers who appear older — let them stay little, even when they seem bigger than their years.
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In summary, it’s essential to let our children embrace their youth, allowing them to feel emotions without judgment. They need love, space, and time to grow.