As I hit 35, I felt a significant shift within me. I started prioritizing my own needs, and suddenly, navigating motherhood and life became much simpler. Now at 37, I’m confidently embracing the mantra of “I do what I want,” and I plan to carry this attitude into my 40s. I’m beginning to think that this newfound perspective is what a midlife transformation is all about—casting aside every unrealistic expectation tied to my roles as a partner and a parent.
If my experiences in my thirties are any indication, I’m actually looking forward to this phase of life. Here’s what I’ve decided to leave behind without any regrets:
1. Filtering My Voice
Growing up, I was taught, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” That’s terrible advice, especially for young girls. In a world where negativity is often loud, I refuse to stay silent. My thoughts and feelings are valid, even if they don’t always sound pleasant. It’s time for my voice to be heard over the noise.
2. Allowing Others to ‘Mansplain’
No more of that! I interact with men daily, both at work and at home, and I’ve grown tired of condescending explanations. I’m not a fool; I’m a woman deserving of respect. I’ve made it a point to call out this behavior whenever it occurs.
3. Neglecting My Own Joys
I will nourish my body with food that brings me joy—not just “diet” meals. I’ll savor wine, indulge in cozy shoes, and unapologetically enjoy my life. My happiness matters just as much as anyone else’s.
4. Worrying About My Body Image
Unless my doctor advises otherwise, I won’t stress about my muffin top or how others perceive me in a swimsuit. No young person is going to dictate my fashion choices—hoops, dyeing my hair, and comfy attire are all fair game.
5. Unfriending Toxicity
I’m all about decluttering my social media. If someone shares hateful content or engages in negativity, they’re out. I refuse to worry about hurting feelings when it comes to protecting my digital space.
6. Speaking Up for My Kids
It took time to get here, but I’m now comfortable addressing when another child is disrespectful to mine. My kids are my priority, and I’ll advocate for them. Likewise, I appreciate honesty when my child misbehaves; we’re all in this together.
Throughout my journey, I’ve come across strong women who exude confidence and power. I used to wonder where their strength came from, but now I realize that it stems from within. I’ve learned to set boundaries that protect my happiness and self-worth. I’m now one of those women who carries that power with pride, and I refuse to let it go.
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Summary: Embracing a midlife transformation means shedding unrealistic expectations and prioritizing personal happiness. By asserting my voice, rejecting condescension, and advocating for myself and my children, I’ve found a renewed sense of power and confidence.