I don’t impose restrictions on screen time for my child. There are no stickers handed out for good screen habits, nor do I take anything away for bad ones. I’ve chosen not to set rules like requiring a certain number of push-ups, minutes of exercise, or creative tasks before using digital devices. My son, at 7 years old, enjoys his tablet on his own terms and schedule.
The main reason I avoid limiting screen time is that it aligns with my personality and parenting approach. I believe it’s essential to consider individual needs when making parenting decisions — we all have different perspectives and styles, and it’s unrealistic to fit everyone into a cookie-cutter parenting model endorsed by any authority.
As an introvert, I cherish my personal space and want to provide my son with his as well. The best way for us to spend the day at home is by engaging in our own activities while checking in with each other occasionally. I find no joy in micromanaging his free time or constantly reminding him of arbitrary rules. As long as he performs well in school, I see no reason to restrict his leisure time.
If I were a different type of parent—perhaps an extroverted, adventure-loving individual—the situation might be different. But that’s not me.
The second major reason for allowing unlimited screen time is that it suits my child’s personality. You might expect that he doesn’t spend much time on screens, but the reality is quite the opposite. While he has interests beyond screens, gaming is undoubtedly his favorite pastime. He dives deep into his interests, often to the point of obsession, whether it’s gaming or any other activity.
This is a kid who prioritizes finishing his assignments over going out to recess. I pondered whether to impose limits to encourage him to explore other activities, but ultimately, I chose to let him enjoy his interests. Why would I enforce arbitrary limits when I can see that his engagement isn’t mindless? If he’s fully invested in what he’s doing, I want to honor that.
Instead of focusing on imposing limits, I concentrate on two key goals related to screen time:
- I strive to understand what he’s playing. I want to avoid a scenario where his gaming world becomes entirely separate from our family life.
- I’m working on my own screen habits, which aren’t perfect. By being honest about my own screen time and aiming to improve, I hope he learns by observing me.
The last thing I want is for his tablet to become a coveted item that he must earn through good behavior or limited time. I want it to be a mundane object he can access freely, used whenever he feels like it without any fuss.
Since we’ve removed time limits, he has become much more relaxed about screen use. When limits were in place, any denial of his tablet time would lead to tantrums. Now, if he can’t use it for a day, it’s no big deal.
I’ve noticed him transitioning smoothly between screen and non-screen activities. One moment he’s battling monsters in a game, and the next, he’s drawing a monster on paper or crafting a story inspired by the game. I see him building in Minecraft and then playing with his baby sister. The lines between screen time and other activities have started to blur, which I believe is a healthier approach.
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Summary:
In this article, the author shares her approach to screen time, emphasizing the importance of individual parenting styles and child personalities. By allowing her son unlimited screen time, she fosters a relaxed environment that encourages creativity and engagement. The focus is on understanding the child’s interests and modeling healthy habits rather than enforcing arbitrary limitations.