I was in the bathroom, trying to stick a pad to my underwear when my little one strolled in and exclaimed, “Whoa! Mommy’s wearing diapers?!” The funny part? I wasn’t even on my period. What I was dealing with was a weak pelvic floor, and I thought Kegels would be my saving grace.
Every time I cough, sneeze, laugh too hard, or even get a little too enthusiastic dancing to a Beyoncé song, my bladder seems to have a mind of its own. After giving birth to my first child naturally and then having an emergency C-section for my second, my body didn’t bounce back like the books promised. I was advised to do yoga, engage my abs, and live by Kegels. I even heard that leaking when sneezing is just a “mom thing” that I should accept.
But at 37, I’m not ready to stock up on Poise pads.
So, like any logical person, I took a long look at my body and habits — and realized Kegels weren’t working for me. Tossing aside my embarrassment, I reached out to my mom friends on social media, asking, “Hey, do you ever wet yourself too?” To my surprise, every single one had an embarrassing tale of their own involving leaks after a sneeze, cough, or hearty laugh.
Feeling a sense of camaraderie, I turned to Google to find some solutions. That’s when I discovered that the original Kegel advice came from a gynecologist named Arnold Kegel back in the 1940s, who suggested women lie on their backs and flex their vaginal muscles around his fingers. Yep, you read that right.
It turns out that this nearly century-old information about female anatomy is seriously outdated. And using vaginal weights (like Ben Wa balls) doesn’t help all women with stress urinary incontinence, which is the technical term for what I’m experiencing.
What has truly made a difference for me and countless other women is focusing on better posture while sitting and standing. For example, when lying down, try drawing your navel toward your spine. A simple bridge pose—lying on your back with your arms down and knees bent—can also strengthen the right abdominal muscles that provide support to your lumbar and urinary tract.
Arnold Kegel’s outdated advice has led millions of women to line their underwear with pads to avoid embarrassment after a sneeze. How absurd is that?
So, I ditched the Kegels and encouraged my mom friends to do the same. We had a good laugh looking up vaginal weights — and yes, we may have laughed a little too hard. It’s clear that as moms, we face heaps of terrible advice and judgment. We all know that no one’s body fully bounces back in a matter of weeks. We’ve been shamed about our bodies in the media, and we know that after countless Kegels, we still leak when we laugh too hard. So why continue doing them?
For more tips on navigating motherhood, check out this post on home insemination kits. If you’re interested in learning more about artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a great resource. And for insights into fertility and pregnancy, Hopkins Medicine provides some excellent information.
In summary, Kegels may not be the miracle cure for everyone. Focusing on posture and engaging in supportive exercises might just be what you need to tackle those pesky leaks.