July 26, 2016
When preparing for your first child, it’s easy to get caught up in the physical aspects: How big your belly gets, how to arrange the nursery, which hospital to choose for delivery, and what type of car seat to bring your little one home in. All of these are undeniably important.
However, after navigating the waters of postpartum life, my advice to expectant mothers is simple — prioritize your emotional well-being. How can you care for everyone else if you neglect your own needs?
As a new mom, I found myself grappling with many thoughts: “Did that really just happen?” “Did he actually say that?” “Is this really my life now?” The emotional healing required after childbirth goes beyond the physical recovery that many women experience.
I realized I had to learn how to let go of a lot of things. Just like Elsa sings, “Let it go.” Holding onto stress only complicates life. Plus, I need to be nimble to keep up with my active toddler all day!
I quickly discovered that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way — countless new mothers experience the same challenges. With postpartum hormones and the “baby blues” swirling around, it’s easy to overlook just how incredible you are. Your nurturing touch can calm your baby; you’re practically magical! Yet, feelings of guilt and shame often creep in during what should be some of the happiest moments of your life.
Sure, some might read this and think, “Wow, moms are a bit wild!” And yes, we can be! Those feelings might seem over-the-top, but experiencing them can be even more intense. These emotions can arise unexpectedly for many postpartum. At times, being a woman feels unfair. I used to think that getting my period in 8th grade was tough, but that was nothing compared to the embarrassing moments I’ve faced in motherhood. So let’s change the narrative. Let’s replace those negative words with affirmations: You moms are phenomenal, amazing, irreplaceable, and truly remarkable.
I want to shake every one of you and say:
- Don’t worry, Mom. If you don’t feel an instant connection filled with rainbows and sunshine when your baby arrives, that’s perfectly normal. Every childbirth experience is unique, and you and your little one will be just fine!
- Don’t worry, Mom. I know it’s the middle of the night and the breast pump sounds like it’s having a conversation with you. You’re not losing it (well, maybe just a little). You’ll get through this! (Your partner, blissfully snoozing in bed, might not be as lucky.)
- Don’t worry, Mom. You’ve probably thought, “Can I really handle this?” and then felt guilty for even questioning it. “How could I think this? I’m so lucky!” Give yourself a break. You’re navigating a monumental life transition. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes; just remember that you’ll be okay.
- Don’t worry, Mom. If you find yourself wondering why you and your partner are suddenly arguing, it’s normal. “We were having a great time; how did things escalate?” Adjusting to parenting can be tough, and it’s a process for everyone. My partner and I are always learning and growing together, and that’s alright!
Okay, go ahead and cry, Mom. The baby won’t sleep, and he’s been tugging on your hair during those long, sleepless hours. You’re exhausted and frustrated; his cries can feel overwhelming. It’s completely fine to shed a few tears while holding that sweet baby. Sometimes, you just need to let it all out. Loving someone so deeply is no easy feat. So let it go, have a good cry, and then pick yourself back up because that’s what moms do.
The truth is: You are not alone. No matter how you feel at this moment, you are not alone. This too shall pass.
The even more important truth is that you are incredible. We all recognize it; now it’s time for you to see it.
For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking to boost your fertility, you can visit this authority on the topic, which offers valuable information.
Summary:
Becoming a mother is a profound experience filled with emotional highs and lows. It’s crucial for expectant mothers to prioritize their emotional health, as feelings of guilt, confusion, and overwhelm are common. Embrace your feelings, allow yourself to cry when necessary, and remember that you’re not alone in this journey. You are powerful, irreplaceable, and capable of navigating the challenges of motherhood.