Not long ago, my partner and I completely spaced on paying our rent. After moving into a new place, we went camping for five days, and amidst all the chaos, we just forgot. My partner called me in a panic, urging me to make the payment because it was overdue. Thankfully, our new landlord was understanding, but I was at a loss. I couldn’t find our checks, had no idea what our account number was, and the stress was piling up. To make matters worse, my two little ones, ages 3 and 4, decided that was the perfect moment to have a massive meltdown over the TV remote, pushing me closer to my breaking point.
In a moment of frustration, I snapped at them. I didn’t want to, and it wasn’t my intention, but with my mind racing, I unfairly took it out on my kids. Regrettably, this isn’t the first time I’ve let external stressors impact my parenting.
I’m just human, after all. I make mistakes. I tend to view life, especially the tough moments, through a lens that amplifies negativity. I can turn small issues into mountains, and then those mountains morph into volcanoes, creating a chaotic scene that even the best action heroes would struggle to navigate. This skewed perspective often seeps into my parenting.
When I’m anxious about an upcoming event or stressed from a disagreement with my partner, I might find myself less engaged with my children. If something tragic happens, I may not be as enthusiastic about my son’s silly antics as I usually am. It’s hard to admit, but I want to be the perfect parent who gives my kids everything they need while shielding them from life’s harsh realities. However, perfection isn’t something I’m capable of because, well, I overthink everything. The lines between being a woman, a partner, and a mom often blur.
While I’m not proud of these moments, I do recognize them. Acknowledging the issue helps me manage it better. On good days, I can take a deep breath and compartmentalize whatever life throws my way. I remind myself to focus on being present for my kids and save my worries for after they’ve gone to bed. On those days, I can set my problems aside and be fully available to them.
Then there are the not-so-good days. Those are the times when the weight of life feels overwhelming, and I struggle to cope. I might snap at the kids or become distant. On these tougher days, I make sure to apologize to them. I explain, in a way they can understand, that I’m having a hard day and haven’t been the best mom. I want them to know that I’m not perfect, but I strive to do my best. They may not grasp the full context of my words, but they’re learning that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s important to apologize and forgive. “It’s okay, Mom,” my little one might say, wrapping his arms around me.
I’m not invincible. I have feelings that can sometimes overwhelm me, and they affect how I parent. But I’m committed to doing my best, and on days when my best doesn’t feel sufficient, I remind my kids that I’m only human. I apologize and promise to improve. That’s what adults do, and it’s a lesson I hope they carry with them.
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Summary
Navigating the challenges of parenting while managing life’s stresses is a common struggle for many moms. This article shares personal experiences of feeling overwhelmed and how to cope with the pressures that affect parenting. It emphasizes the importance of acknowledging mistakes, apologizing to children, and striving to be present in their lives despite life’s ups and downs.