I was seven months along and found myself once again searching for maternity tops. After pulling a likely candidate from the stack, I wrestled it on and took a look in the mirror. To my surprise, I thought, “Well, that doesn’t look cute at all.” I scrunched my nose at my reflection. Must be something off with this shirt.
The realization that this thought surprised me was shocking. For the past three decades, I had battled with my weight, constantly criticizing my body at every opportunity. Stepping into a dressing room felt like an invitation for self-doubt—the only variable was how intense it would be. On rare occasions, I’d find an outfit that hid my shape well enough to feel acceptable. It was always my body that seemed to fail the test, never the clothing.
That day, however, I recognized that pregnancy had triggered a fundamental shift within me: I actually loved how I looked. I adored my baby bump, appreciated what it represented, and enjoyed the way others treated me. I was one of the fortunate ones having a “magical unicorn pregnancy,” experiencing minimal discomfort, which made everything about it feel amazing. (Don’t worry, I faced my fair share of nausea with baby No. 2!)
Somehow, my pregnant mind had concluded that I looked fantastic, and clothes should reflect that. Any shirt that didn’t look good on me simply wasn’t a cute shirt. My default assumption—that there was something wrong with me—no longer held true. It felt liberating. I reveled in horizontal stripes and sought out tops with delightful empire ties to show off my shape. For the first time, I loved seeing myself in the mirror.
Regrettably, this wave of body positivity dissipated soon after the birth of my daughter. I had greatly underestimated how long baby weight would linger. I struggled with nursing tops that felt just a tad too small but was too proud to replace them. I clung to my maternity jeans postpartum, my head hung low in the grocery store, terrified someone might ask me when I was due. Somehow, I found myself back where I started.
Fast forward two years, and I’m now five months pregnant again. This time, I eagerly dug out my box of maternity clothes, reaching for those comfy elastic waists early on. I was excited to get back into that positive mindset, and I’m thrilled to say it has returned. Sure, I still have my moments. I’m beginning this pregnancy with an extra 20 pounds from the first one. Some of my favorite maternity clothes don’t fit me this time around, but I haven’t quite accepted the idea of parting with them.
Nonetheless, I’m loving my belly again. I wear outfits I would have never considered before pregnancy. I rock snug tops with yoga pants, and I genuinely don’t care. In fact, I prefer them because they showcase my bump even more. Since I naturally carry extra weight, it’s not always obvious that I’m pregnant now, which sometimes leads me to worry that someone might mistake me for just being overweight. But that’s their problem, not mine! Oh, how I wish I could maintain this attitude consistently.
My goal is to embrace the beauty of my body while welcoming my new baby girl, and to instill this self-love in my daughters too. I want them to understand that their bodies are beautiful and that clothing is meant to enhance our appearance—if it doesn’t, it’s not their bodies that are the issue. I want to teach them that the opinions of others about our bodies are irrelevant to our self-worth.
I know these beliefs are inherently true. It’s the world I aspire to live in and the person I want to be. Yet, I often find myself only able to harness this mindset in fleeting moments. This time, I’m determined to work harder at it. Perhaps it’s a matter of practice—training my mind to recognize my own beauty. Luckily, I have five more months to reach peak self-esteem condition!