I need to share something with you. As a mom for nearly a decade, I’ve never once hired a babysitter. Seriously. Not a single time have I paid someone to watch my children.
I’m not sharing this to pat myself on the back or to suggest I’m better than anyone else—far from it. I have family nearby who occasionally help out, and since I work from home, I’ve always managed to fit my work around my family’s needs. So, while I recognize that some moms may not have this luxury, I’ve just never felt the need to seek outside help.
The thought of spending money on a babysitter, especially when the going rate in my area is around $15 an hour, always seemed like an unnecessary expense. If we could spare any dollars, I’d rather put it toward swim lessons for the kids or a fun day at the amusement park. And when it came to treating myself, it usually meant buying practical things like new underwear or yoga pants (yes, I admit, I’m that practical).
However, I have to admit another truth: I now regret never hiring a babysitter. It was foolish of me to disregard my own needs for so long, believing I didn’t deserve to spend time or money on myself.
I’ve been that mom who never gets a breather, convincing myself that it was for the best. I let guilt convince me that I had to save every extra penny for my kids, even believing—though I’m ashamed to say it—that I was a better mom for avoiding help. But I was wrong. All those thoughts stemmed from the misguided belief that my needs were less important than everyone else’s, and that simply isn’t the case.
Looking back, I realize how much I needed uninterrupted time to be myself—just a few hours to drive around alone, free from the relentless chorus of “Are we there yet?” or the constant demands for snacks. I longed for the chance to do mundane tasks like shopping for milk without having to navigate around little ones clinging to my legs.
There were countless days when I felt overwhelmed—when my kids were sick or my partner was working late for too many days in a row. I remember the monotony of repetitive tasks, feeling like I was slowly turning into a robot, and how the endless whining and bickering made me feel like I was losing my mind. I longed for an escape from the confines of my home.
In hindsight, my peace of mind as a mother was worth the cost of hiring someone to care for my kids for a few hours. Why didn’t I realize that sooner? Yes, I understand that many moms are in tight financial situations and struggle to find reliable childcare, but what if we prioritized it? What if we said no to a few extra toys for the kids or cut back on nonessential expenses?
A babysitter doesn’t have to be a professional. You could hire a responsible teenager from the neighborhood or even enlist the help of a mother’s helper. Even having someone play with your kids in another room can give you the space you need to recharge. Imagine locking yourself in your bedroom for a little while, playing Candy Crush on your phone—sounds blissful, right?
It could take the edge off those days when motherhood feels all-consuming. Maybe we wouldn’t feel the need to splurge on wine or chocolate if we allocated some funds toward a few hours of childcare. You might even find that the costs balance out.
In all seriousness—whether it’s hiring a babysitter, dropping your kids off at a relative’s house for the day, or even handing them over to your partner for a few hours on the weekend—you deserve it. There’s nothing selfish about taking care of yourself. Moms who never get breaks often find themselves feeling overwhelmed. I know this from experience—too many times.
We all want to be the best parents we can be, to show our children unconditional love, to listen, and to create wonderful memories for them. But we can’t do that when we’re running on empty without sleep, help, or breaks.
So, I encourage you to seek help, whether it’s from a babysitter, family, or even utilizing technology to give yourself some breathing room. It may seem impossible to find time for yourself, but don’t fall into the martyr trap. The most courageous thing you can do is prioritize your own well-being. You’re worth it, mama.
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Summary:
In this piece, Lily Thompson reflects on her experience of never hiring a babysitter during her nearly ten years of motherhood. She discusses the importance of self-care and the value of taking breaks from parenting. By recognizing that her needs are just as important as her children’s, she encourages other mothers to seek help, whether through babysitters or family support. Ultimately, taking time for oneself can lead to better parenting and a happier home life.