Parenting
Every time I start packing for a getaway from my little ones, that familiar wave of anxiety washes over me. It’s not the typical fears of plane mishaps or lost bags, or even the flu in a new city that trouble me. It’s the dread of what awaits my return. (Spoiler alert! It’s a messy house that reeks of feet, fried food, and who knows what else.)
I should be grateful for this chance to escape on a little mom trip, right? I know, I know. And trust me, while I’m away from the chaos of home and my responsibilities, I make the most of my time alone. I’m a fantastic addition to any girls’ getaway; as soon as I think about the mess that will greet me upon my return, I order another drink.
In the days leading up to my departure, I’m a whirlwind of activity, cleaning the house and compiling lists: “Call this person if his rash flares up again! Here’s the pharmacy’s number! Don’t forget to apply that cream on her right elbow!” I stock the pantry and fill the fridge with pre-packaged meals that require no thought and can be consumed mindlessly for days without causing any tummy troubles, because we all know whatever they eat while I’m gone will soon become my problem.
I move the healthy snacks to the front of the cupboard where tiny hands can reach them and label cups with names. I leave notes. I buy apples. No one is likely to eat them, but at least I can leave knowing I tried. So why do I go through all this trouble, knowing that the moment I step out, it’s all going to unravel? It’s just a facade, much like my attempts to convince my family to enjoy kale; it’s utterly pointless.
I’m doing all of this in hopes of making life easier for myself when I return days later, fully aware that as soon as I leave, my partner will zone out in front of an old action flick while the kids turn the living room into a battleground. I envision them having a blast with Yoo-hoo, scrambled eggs mashed into the cushions, and probably engaging in some wrestling that involves throwing things that should never be airborne… like each other.
As I enjoy a night out with friends, I try not to dwell on the fact that the freshly vacuumed carpet will soon be a minefield of snack crumbs. When I order a glass of sangria, I wrestle with thoughts of whether the kids will remember to brush their teeth, and I cringe at the thought of the laundry mountain waiting for me.
And the socks — oh, the socks. They will be a disaster. My socks will somehow end up in my partner’s drawer, while my daughter’s will find a home in mine, and I’ll be missing multiple pairs because, apparently, doing laundry correctly is a task too challenging for grown-ups.
When I’m away, I relish sleeping in, getting ready in peace, and having my makeup brushes untouched. Everything stays just as I left it, and honestly, it’s blissful. But I do start to miss my family. After all, I’m not completely heartless.
When I come back, my family greets me in pajamas — probably the very same ones they were wearing when I left three days ago — looking like they’ve survived a war zone. Everything is sticky. Items that shouldn’t be sticky, like clothes hangers, inexplicably are. Just when I think I’ve cleaned up the last of the mystery goo, I’ll find more lurking down the hall.
There will be odd items under the beds — things like spatulas. I’ll discover Cheerios dust in places they shouldn’t be, random sticks of butter in cabinets, dolls in the dryer, and maybe even a couple of kids who seem to think they’ve taken up permanent residence in my home.
Re-entry is definitely a challenge.
I’ve realized that the key to handling my return is to have as much fun as possible during my getaway, so when I find myself on the floor searching for my daughter’s beloved toy after coming home, I can genuinely tell my friend, “That was so worth it.” Followed closely by, “When’s our next adventure?!”
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out our other blog posts about preparing for a family, like this one on artificial insemination kits or visit the CDC for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Navigating the chaos of family life can feel overwhelming, especially when preparing for a brief escape. From the frantic packing and cleaning to the inevitable mess that awaits upon returning, the challenges of parenting don’t pause for a vacation. Yet, the key to a smooth return lies in embracing the fun of your getaway, making the eventual chaos feel worthwhile.