Dear Mom of a Child with Special Needs,
I hope this letter finds you well. I want to take a moment to share my thoughts with you, as I understand that parenting a child with unique needs can feel isolating at times. I personally deal with anxiety and depression, and I appreciate when people refer to me using person-first language — like “a person with depression” rather than labels that define me by my struggles. I aim to extend that same respect when discussing your child.
That said, I sometimes feel uncertain about the appropriate language to use. Are terms like “disability” or “sick” acceptable? I genuinely want to be sensitive and kind in our conversations. My hope is that our children can form a friendship—not just for the sake of understanding differences, but because I believe every kid deserves a chance to connect with others.
When it comes to explaining your child to my own, I find myself at a bit of a loss. I don’t want to invade your child’s privacy or share too much information that might not be appropriate. For instance, if my child asks about your child’s differences, I want to provide thoughtful answers without crossing any boundaries. I would love your guidance on how best to approach these conversations.
I truly want to support you and your child. I understand that navigating appointments and therapies can make socializing challenging, and I want to help make things easier. Whether you want to talk about everyday life or take a break from medical discussions, I’m here for you.
I hope we can build a friendship. I promise that if we see each other out, I’ll treat your child with respect and kindness, just as I would want for my own. If my kids have questions, I’ll do my best to answer them, and I’ll encourage them to ask you directly if they’re unsure. It would be wonderful for them to meet your child, as they genuinely enjoy making new friends.
I do have one last question: Can your child join us at our Lego table? If not, no worries—we’ll find something fun for everyone.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know how precious your time is.
Warmly,
A Fellow Mama