Dear Teenage Girls at the Pool,
Don’t fret — this isn’t going to be one of those letters. You know the type, where a well-meaning adult tries to impart wisdom about how you should adjust your choices, usually focused on your style or social media habits. Trust me, I’m just as tired of those letters as you are.
You may not recall me, but we crossed paths at the community pool last week. I use “crossed paths” loosely since I never caught your names, and you didn’t catch mine. I had climbed up to the high dive after my younger son, Jake, convinced me: “You go off the high dive, Mom, and I’ll do my cannonball.” I thought, “How hard can it be?”
But once I reached the top and gazed down, I realized just how daunting the high dive really is. I hesitated, but stood behind you in line anyway.
The last time I made a jump from a high dive, I was 18 — just a few years older than you. But oh, how much can change in two decades! The board felt so much higher, and the drop seemed further. Suddenly, the fear of a swimsuit malfunction and belly flops felt very real.
One of you, Jessica, remarked, “It always takes me a few tries before I jump.” You walked to the end of the board, paused, then made your way back. Again you approached, hesitated, and again you returned. But eventually, after a few attempts, you leaped into the air. A moment later, you were back in line with your friend, Sarah.
As I watched, several younger kids — around 8 or 9 years old — took their turns. You cheered each other on, encouraging one another before each jump.
When it was my turn again, I walked halfway down the board and looked down. No way, I thought.
For 20 minutes, I stood on the edge, watching you and the other kids dive in. I tried to summon the courage to jump, reminding myself that I could tackle difficult challenges. I thought about how I often write about overcoming fear and being a role model for my kids when it comes to taking risks.
I climbed onto the board and attempted to jump at least five times. Each time, you offered me encouragement. You patiently waited as I walked halfway, paused, and then stepped back down.
“It’s OK,” Jessica said. “I get scared too. But once you jump, it’s fun.”
“Just don’t look down,” Sarah advised. “Look out at the trees instead.”
“It’s like flying!” Jessica added. I noticed the song playing in the background — “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty — and we shared a laugh.
I stepped onto the board again, took a few strides forward, and followed your advice to focus on the trees. But then, I glanced down and retreated again.
“Agh!” the younger kids groaned.
“Not today, kids,” I said apologetically. “Maybe next time.”
But then Jessica looked me square in the eye and said, “You’ll regret it if you leave without jumping. You will.”
“I know,” I whispered. “You’re right.”
When my turn came again, I walked to the edge, focused on the trees, and finally jumped. I heard cheers just before I hit the water.
“Good job!” you called from the platform.
“Thank you!” I shouted back.
A few minutes later, as you passed by, I called out, “Thank you, girls!” But you were deep in conversation, laughing at something only teenage girls can appreciate. I glanced around, unsure if you were with parents — you seemed too old for that now. Soon after, my younger son wanted a snack, then my older son did too, and before I knew it, it was time to leave. I never saw you again that day.
As I made my way to the snack counter, my friend teased, “I expect you to write about your dive soon.” I chuckled and, as I pondered what to write, you both came to mind.
I could write about tackling challenges or the importance of showing our kids that we can feel fear too. Those are important subjects, and I’ll continue to explore them. But for now, I truly want to celebrate you two remarkable teenage girls.
So much is said about teens today, especially young girls. There are worries about the over-sexualization of girls and debates over clothing choices. The discussions about selfies and social media seem endless.
As parents, we aim to instill strength, confidence, and kindness in you. We teach you to be brave and to respect yourselves, hoping you’ll grow into empowered individuals. But in the process, we sometimes forget how much you teach us. You remind us of bravery, of taking risks, and that the leap can be exhilarating. You show us that mistakes are part of the journey and emphasize the value of patience and resilience.
We strive to guide you from childhood to adulthood, thinking our experiences give us wisdom. Yet, we often overlook that you’re navigating this journey alongside us. We are all learning together.
So keep jumping into the deep end. Keep being yourselves. Keep evolving. Because we’re learning and growing right along with you.
This article is based on experiences that resonate with many, and if you’re looking for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the U.S. Department of Health. For those interested in at-home insemination kits, Make a Mom is a great authority on the topic. To learn more about how we handle your privacy, you can read about it in our privacy policy.
Summary
This heartfelt reflection highlights the lessons we can learn from teenagers, particularly about bravery and resilience. The author shares a personal story of overcoming fear at the high dive, inspired by two teenage girls who provided encouragement and insight. The piece emphasizes the importance of recognizing the valuable perspectives that younger generations have to offer, reminding us that learning is a shared journey.