I adore my kids to pieces, but like many parents, I find myself venting about them quite a bit. I genuinely believe that it’s healthy for parents to express their frustrations—it helps keep us sane. I often find myself complaining to friends and family about things like, “I just want to enjoy a meal without interruptions!” or “Is it too much to ask to use the bathroom alone?” or “Why can’t I get anything accomplished around here?”
Typically, the response is supportive: “Oh, I totally understand. You’re not alone. This will pass.” But every so often, someone advises me, “Just let them play! Teach them to entertain themselves!” I know this is not meant to be harsh or judgmental, but when I hear that, I can’t help but think, “You just don’t understand!”
Maybe there’s something wrong with me or my kids—who knows? But my children don’t seem to grasp the concept of “entertaining themselves” unless you count the hours they spend glued to their tablets. Sure, they play fairly often, but I can’t simply leave them to it without risking a disaster—or a trip to the ER!
I’ve got two boys, one is 3 and the other is 9. My youngest can occasionally engage in solo play—if he’s in the right mood. I might get around 20 or 30 minutes of him playing superheroes on his own, but if he’s cranky or if his older brother is around, forget about it.
In total, I might get 60 minutes of independent playtime from him each week. That’s just enough time for me to unload the dishwasher. But if I take a moment to call a friend or hop in the shower, chaos erupts, and he demands my attention right away. However, if I stay close and wash dishes, somehow, I can get away with it.
Now, my older son has never been one to play alone. He’s incredibly bright and always seeking stimulation. He might read a book or dive into a video game, but if those activities aren’t available, I’m met with a chorus of moans or a barrage of questions. Both boys are non-stop talkers, and it’s rare for there to be any peace in our home. When they’re both out of the house, the silence is almost surreal. I’ll just sit there, close my eyes, and soak it all in.
As for the two of them playing together… well, let’s just say it’s a mixed bag. They adore each other and do play together, but they require constant supervision. Their playtime usually alternates between fun and squabbling every five minutes.
It’s not that I don’t allow them to figure things out on their own. I often try to step back and let them navigate their disagreements and boredom. But this doesn’t mean I can actually get anything done during those moments. It certainly doesn’t guarantee me any space or, heaven forbid, silence.
Perhaps my kids demand more attention than most, or maybe I’m just too anxious about potential mishaps to give them the space they need. Yet, I believe they’re just typical kids who naturally require a lot of attention, especially in their early years, which can be utterly draining.
Despite the chaos, I know my boys are spirited, bright, and engaged, and I truly believe they will grow up to be amazing individuals. Even though they drive me absolutely up the wall now, I have faith that one day, the silence will return, and I’ll probably miss this noisy phase.
If I’m being honest, though, I do wish they would leave me alone a bit more. It would be wonderful to tackle household tasks without a couple of little tornadoes attached to me. The reality is that this phase will pass, and it will all be worth it in the end, but living through it is undeniably tough. Seriously, can’t a girl just have a moment of peace?
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Summary:
Parenting can often feel overwhelming, especially when kids struggle to entertain themselves. The author shares her experiences with her two boys, highlighting the challenges of constant demands for attention, the noise level in the house, and the fleeting moments of silence. Despite the chaos, she recognizes that this phase is temporary and ultimately part of the parenting journey.