During our spring break in Boston, I let my kids choose a few souvenirs. Little did I know that this innocent shopping trip would end with me tearing up in a jewelry store. My tween son decided to spend his money on a gift for his girlfriend instead of treating himself. While it was such a sweet gesture—and a reflection of how I’ve raised him to think of others—it caught me off guard emotionally.
Just as I was starting to feel overwhelmed, a ridiculous, oversized necklace caught my son’s attention. He asked, “What is that, Mom? Is it a necklace or a weapon?” We both erupted in laughter, and the giggles helped mask my tears. My son has seen me laugh so hard I’ve cried before, so it worked perfectly as a cover-up.
To be honest, having a girlfriend at this stage in his life wasn’t what I envisioned for my son. I had hoped he would be more focused on school, sports, and friends. But then I remember my own experiences at his age—the notes, the hand-holding, and those long phone calls while my favorite sitcoms played in the background. It was an exhilarating time.
I could have easily told him he wasn’t allowed to date yet. I could have hesitated when he asked to go to the movies with his girlfriend for their first (chaperoned) outing. That might have spared me the emotional moment I had while snapping photos of them as they walked into the theater. I know it sounds silly, but when your car is filled with the scent of cologne and gum, and it’s all for someone he really likes, it’s hard not to get misty-eyed.
Sure, I could suggest he wait until he’s 16. But would he even listen? I certainly wouldn’t have.
So here we are—my son has a girlfriend who is delightful and brings out the best in him. He’s willing to spend his money on her, and that joy in giving is something I want to encourage. Why would I want to stifle that?
I’ve noticed other positive changes in him too. He’s become more polite, asks for my input on what to wear, and even showers without me reminding him. He holds doors open and shows kindness. While some of this is typical growing up, I know his girlfriend has influenced him in a wonderful way.
This is his first relationship, and I understand it won’t be the last. There will be many aspects of his life I won’t know about, and I want to create a strong foundation of trust and understanding between us. So, I welcome this relationship and her into our lives.
That said, just because I’m supportive doesn’t mean I’m letting them be alone together. We frequently discuss how to treat others with respect and care, and those conversations will continue as he matures. As long as my son lives at home, I’ll be keeping a close eye on things.
Whether I’m fully ready for this new chapter or not, my son feels prepared. I want him to know he can talk to me about his relationships, so I will be here to support him.
For additional insights on parenting and relationships, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. Also, if you want to explore fertility journeys, make sure to visit this authority on the topic.
In summary, while navigating my son’s first relationship has been an emotional rollercoaster, I choose to support him as he explores this new territory. It’s clear that he is blossoming into a kinder person, and I’m excited to see where this journey takes him.