You may have that enviable beach body, but I’m still navigating my own self-image as a mom.
You know the video I’m talking about. Moms at the beach playfully interacting with their kids while smiling at the camera. It sends a powerful message: “Your jiggly tummy? Your not-so-tight rear end? They don’t matter!” What truly counts is your presence as a mother, even if you’re sporting a bathing suit that doesn’t fit the societal mold of perfection. You are their world. You’re their mom, and they need you.
When I approach the water, I usually opt for a loose rashguard—or I just avoid the water altogether. It’s my way of finding a middle ground. I remind myself that my kids and my partner don’t care about how I look, and I shouldn’t either. They are what matter most in my life. However, I still grapple with my own feelings about my appearance. I don’t want the spotlight on me.
My Beach Routine
Here’s my beach routine: I wear a bikini under a flowing, sleeveless sundress, complete with oversized sunglasses and a floppy straw hat. Just before taking the plunge, I suck in my stomach and hurriedly shed the hat and dress, slipping into my black rashguard—the classic choice. I ensure my bikini bottoms are tie-side to avoid any unflattering pinching on my hips. Then, I dash into the water, submerging myself up to my thighs.
The body positivity movement encourages me to embrace my soft belly, round hips, and wobbly thighs. After all, they are part of me, and I should learn to love myself. I believe that all bodies have beauty, not just the slim ones we see in magazines. I can easily admire other women who are bigger than me and think, “She looks stunning.” But when it comes to my own body, that belief seems to falter.
I think my struggle stems from being the “skinny girl” in my family, a label that felt like a compliment in my youth. But with my sister being the “cute one,” I clung to the term “skinny” for validation. We all have stories of feeling unattractive or being told we needed to change. Whether it was a harsh comment from a boy or a well-meaning remark from a parent, those moments linger. Pregnancy transformed my body even more, and suddenly, I felt as if I’d become the one “fat girl” in the group.
Embracing Imperfections
Recently, I made a meme that read: “How to get bikini-ready: Just put on a bikini.” I truly believe in embracing our imperfections and the beauty of diverse body shapes. Yet, when I look in the mirror, I struggle to see my own beauty. After gaining 100 pounds during my last pregnancy, my stomach now hangs like crepe paper, and my thighs have their own issues. I can’t change my legs, but I can cover up the rest with a black rashguard, which conceals my belly and hips. Once I’m in the water, I feel a bit more hidden.
I often find myself torn between wanting to swim with my kids and hiding my body. But in the end, I choose to join them in the water. They love when I pretend to be a dolphin or toss them playfully into the waves. My eldest always asks, “Can you throw me, Mama?” Even if I’m not as strong as Dad, I still get giggles and laughter, which makes it all worthwhile. I know it’s important for them to see me in action.
Creating Lasting Memories
On the beach, I can still enjoy the moments without shedding my cover-up. I can wade with the baby, gather seashells, and build magnificent sandcastles—all while wearing my dress. My kids don’t need to see my stomach to create lasting memories together.
Perhaps one day, I’ll feel more comfortable in my own skin. I do own a bikini (black, of course), and as the years pass, I realize I won’t look like the teenage ideal forever. Maybe I should embrace my body while I still can. But for now, I’m still working on it.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, navigating body image as a mom at the beach can be a struggle, but it’s essential to focus on the joy of being present for our children. While we might not always feel confident in our appearances, the moments spent creating memories with our kids are what truly matter.