When contemplating parenthood, it’s common to ask the usual questions: Are we prepared to take on the role of parents? Are our finances stable? Do we have a reliable support network? While these inquiries are crucial, there’s one significant question that often goes unmentioned: Are we capable of handling tasks from the bathroom?
Let’s face it—anyone can scroll through social media or read a magazine while in the restroom, but parenting requires a much higher level of multitasking. Once you become a parent, you’ll find yourself juggling a variety of tasks while, well, attending to nature’s call.
Children are blissfully unaware of personal space for quite some time. Even when they do grasp the concept, they often conclude that it doesn’t apply to Mom and Dad. So, whether you’re showering, sneaking a snack in the closet, changing clothes, or yes, using the toilet, your privacy is likely to vanish. From the moment those chubby little fingers start wiggling under the door (and eventually mastering doorknobs), you can bet it’ll be years before you enjoy a solo bathroom visit.
Moreover, kids seem to have an unspoken rule that any “emergency” that happens while you’re on the toilet requires immediate attention. Craving yogurt? Can’t reach the crayons? Need a back scratch? Just barge in and demand a solution, completely disregarding your own needs. Ironically, more pressing issues—like a baby munching on your lip gloss—often go unnoticed until you’re finished.
This reality teaches a valuable lesson in parenting: if you don’t want to spend your days shouting, “Can you wait a minute?!”, you’ll need to learn how to tackle various challenges from your throne. After all, managing to resolve a few issues while you’re there might be your only chance to snag a moment of peace.
So, if you’re curious about the types of tasks parents often find themselves doing from the bathroom, here’s a small list (your experiences may vary):
- Opening fruit snacks, yogurt tubes, or other food packages
- Mediating sibling disputes
- Feeding a baby
- Burping a baby
- Holding a baby just to keep them from crying
- Fixing broken toys
- Buttoning pants or zipping zippers
- Extracting splinters
- Inspecting both real and imagined injuries
- Singing songs or counting things
- Spelling words or answering homework questions
- Creating an alien out of play-dough
And let’s not forget about the added pressure of kids making you perpetually late—so you might as well add “eating breakfast” and “brushing/flossing teeth” to that list!
If you or someone you know is pondering whether it’s the right time to start a family, here’s my advice: Sit down on the toilet and see if you can manage a few random tasks while you’re there. If you can pull it off, you might just be ready to ditch the birth control.
However, if your idea of multitasking is simply talking on the phone while taking a walk or sipping a coffee without spilling it, you might want to think twice. Just saying.
For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Before starting a family, future parents should consider their ability to multitask in the bathroom. Children have no sense of privacy, and parents often find themselves juggling various tasks while using the toilet. From mediating disputes to feeding babies, the challenges are endless. If you can successfully manage these tasks while on the throne, you may be ready for parenthood.